


Find Me

by Freyjadour



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: F/M, Final Fantasy VIII - Freeform, Where I Belong Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-30
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:17:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/493734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freyjadour/pseuds/Freyjadour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII</p><p>This is an AU setting, it's my usual darker more violent style. There's cursing and some bloody scenes and descriptions but it really isn't anything too bad...at least not compared to my other stuff. This was originally supposed to be a one-shot but once it hit thirty thousand words even I thought that was too long. So, I cut it in half, the other part is mostly done, just needs editing. I'd also like to warn you of any mistakes in this part, I read it through quickly and I'm sure I missed some misspellings, grammar mistakes, and just some overall dumb word changes. It's a long piece and reading it gets tiring, normally I'd wait a week or two for editing but since this is for the Where I Belong challenge, I needed to get it out there. Also, because of the rush to get it done, the piece itself feels rushed at times. I could've ironed it out a little more but it would've extended it even more and I just wanted to keep it to the real content as well as get this thing posted. Now, I think we're ready to begin. Enjoy, I had fun writing this.</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Find Me Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII
> 
> This is an AU setting, it's my usual darker more violent style. There's cursing and some bloody scenes and descriptions but it really isn't anything too bad...at least not compared to my other stuff. This was originally supposed to be a one-shot but once it hit thirty thousand words even I thought that was too long. So, I cut it in half, the other part is mostly done, just needs editing. I'd also like to warn you of any mistakes in this part, I read it through quickly and I'm sure I missed some misspellings, grammar mistakes, and just some overall dumb word changes. It's a long piece and reading it gets tiring, normally I'd wait a week or two for editing but since this is for the Where I Belong challenge, I needed to get it out there. Also, because of the rush to get it done, the piece itself feels rushed at times. I could've ironed it out a little more but it would've extended it even more and I just wanted to keep it to the real content as well as get this thing posted. Now, I think we're ready to begin. Enjoy, I had fun writing this.

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"Squall move over, you're taking up all the bed." Rinoa whined.

It was late at night and we both had a long day. "You're the one who sleeps diagonally," I accused.

"Hmph, fine. I'll just have to do this." She climbed on top of me and rested her head right underneath my chin.

"It's too hot to do this." I complained.

"Shut up, or get a bigger bed." I felt her arms snake around behind my neck. She nuzzled her head into my chest. I could only imagine she was attempting to soften my chest somehow. She always did it and I couldn't help smile as she did. It was a wonderful moment, simple and pure that I loved so much. The feel of her on top of me was incredible. Only people that have ever truly been in love will understand how something so simple is actually the most amazing – the closeness to someone, to completely open yourself to them. Never before have I done that until Rinoa, and with her I have held nothing back.

"I love you." I told her, never more sure about anything in the entire world.

"Find me."

"What?" I chuckled, my chin touching her hair as I did. Her scent was filling my senses, overwhelming my mind of her.

She lifted her head up to look at me and it was stained with tears. She looked afraid and terrified. Her lips were quivering and her entire body shaking in fear. Her teeth chattered loudly as if a harsh cold overtook her. I could see her hair thinning and some strands falling out onto my chest. Dark rings were growing around her eyes as her skin grew paler. She coughed and blood spat out hitting me in the face. Her scent was being morphed into one filled with iron. "Find me Squall."

I was confused and growing worried, "Rinoa, you're right here, I have you."

"Find me Squall, please, find me." She was begging, her hands gripping like tight claws, into my skin causing me to bleed. She was desperately trying her hardest to hold onto me, pure fear driving her.

"Rinoa, what's wrong?"

Suddenly she started being pulled away from me. "Squall!" She cried out. "Find me!"

I grabbed her hands trying to keep her near me but it was impossible. Whatever had her was pulling her away from me. "Rinoa, hold on!"

It was useless, she slipped through my grip and vanished. She shouted two words as she drifted into nothingness. "Find me."

I shout upwards in my bed, a cold sweat taking over me. I slapped my face multiple times to help wake up. I looked at the clock next to my bed. I was only asleep for an hour, just enough time to entire REM sleep to have dreams – or rather – nightmares. I felt the bed next to me…it was cold, as it always was. It felt like forever since the last time it felt warm. Of course it didn't, it probably never would again. The stinging pain returned to my head, the constant pounding that was always there, never letting me get a real rest. I reached onto my nightstand to grab the prescription pills that my SeeD insurance was paying for. Nothing helps them go down like the bottle of liquor, also kept on my nightstand always within reach.

These plaguing memories that seemed to constantly torment me in all hours of the day. I don't even get freedom during my sleep, I am afflicted by horrific nightmares every time I lie down. Seeing it on replay for the rest of my life, I know I'd never be allowed to forget. Not that I wanted to, I didn't deserve to forget. They say it wasn't my fault but that doesn't matter, I still feel responsible. The hundreds of pats on the back telling me I'll make it through this. They don't understand, this isn't getting fired from a job. This is my life stopping in its tracks. This is everything I know, everything I understand coming to an absolute halt. They tell me the procedure was followed to a tee, like it matters. I don't care if everyone did their job perfectly, we still failed, and therefore nothing else matters. Don't sugarcoat or butter up the obvious. No one understands what I'm feeling and I'm sick of hearing people tell me they do. They don't, they fucking don't! If one more person tells me everything will be okay, I'll rip their throat out. I don't need to hear it.

I've become distant and melancholic. How utterly pathetic and angst filled I have become, with tears in my eyes, disgracing myself. Why is it so shameful for a man to cry? When he loses everything, isn't it acceptable? How many times have I stuck a gun in my mouth centimeters away from pulling the trigger? No one knows this, the ritual I go through each night. Sitting on my bed with only boxers on and a gun in my mouth. I laugh at how they'd find my dead body. The number one SeeD, in his underwear with a hole in his head. I'm sure SeeD would cover it up somehow. But it didn't matter, I'd never be able to do it. I was sad, depressed, and miserable for sure. But most of all, I was more pissed off than ever. I could never kill myself because I was too angry at the world, I'd never be able to let myself die before I got back at someone. That was the problem, I didn't have anyone to take my anger out on. I didn't accept anymore missions, not because I couldn't focus, the exact opposite. I lost all intellectual reasoning. A simple hostage exchange turned into me shooting every terrorist there. Not exactly a problem in my eyes but it was deemed too risky and it was sheer luck the hostage made it out alive. That's debatable, but doesn't matter what I say. Cid suspended me from all active missions. My team still takes the odd mission, but Seifer told me they don't feel right without me there. I appreciate that but it didn't really matter. I sure as hell wasn't going to sit around and get lazy with my skills. I lived in the training area to take out my unrelenting aggression. It didn't help in the least.

I was plagued, I couldn't escape. I still see it, even now, I see that night so clearly. I was sitting in the restaurant, the one that took months to get a table. I didn't fit in at all. All the wealthy people were staring at me, at my scar between my eyes. They knew I was a soldier and couldn't comprehend why I was there. I was there for only one reason, to propose to the love of my life. Rinoa Heartily. I met her at a dance that SeeD threw, her father is on our council of affairs so she came with him. I never paid too much attention to women but she just caught my eye. It's all a blur from there, the three years we spent together. She started working in the communications department and moved in. I spent all my free time with her, if I wasn't on some missions, I was with her. I never knew until then how badly I craved the love of another. She needed to be mine for the rest of my life. I had to make it happen. I bought the biggest, most expensive ring I could find, and waited to get a table at this rip-off of a restaurant. I was waiting for her to walk through that door, she got held up at work and promised she'd meet me there. I was going to wait until after dinner to propose but I knew I wouldn't be able to wait. It would be impossible to sit through dinner knowing what I had in my pocket. So I decided I'd propose on the spot, the second she walked in. I grew worried after waiting there for an hour but I convinced myself work was just extra busy.

But she never walked in.

It was Seifer who walked in with a very serious expression on his face. He sat down at the table. I made a joke how he should wait and see how a real man proposes. He leaned forward and told me straight up. I remember every word that left his mouth. 'Rinoa was taken. We don't know by who or why. Her car was found on with the keys in the ignition. It happened an hour ago we think. The rest of the team is outside, we're ready for your orders'.

I was off like a rocket, fist clenched, ready to burn down the world to find her. For the next three days we tore apart Balamb, because we knew, after three days it would be impossible to find her. She could be anywhere in the world. But we didn't find her, and the hope that a ransom demand would reach her father never happened either. Slowly, everyone gave up. If there wasn't a ransom, then they didn't know who she was, meaning they were just lowlife thugs. It was just the wrong place and wrong time for her. I couldn't accept it, I still can't. It's just impossible to imagine her gone.

That was three months ago. Three months have gone by and I know the statistics. The chances she's alive is less than five percent. The chances she's alive and well…only two percent. I have nightmares imagining what she's going through. What horrible things those monsters are doing to her. But as painful as it is, I have never once tried to move on. That would be betraying her and I refused to do that. I will sit in a state of aggressive melancholy until the day I die. No one understands this, as they try and make me feel better. They tried to send me on multiple vacations, like that would help. Even General Caraway told me to go to Fisherman's Horizon for a week to recollect myself. What the hell will fishing do to help? I can't leave Garden, if any news of Rinoa surfaces, it will come straight to Garden. So I refuse to leave, not even for a simple vacation, no matter how many times they try and force me.

I sat on my bed and pulled out my phone. It was after one in the morning, another sleepless night was ahead of me. I'd probably head down to the training area soon enough to work out until my body exhausts itself and passes out. This entire time, one would expect my skills to weaken and my physique to lessen. That wasn't the case, with all this anger and free time, it was the opposite. I've never been in better shape in my life, that's what happens when someone spends hours in the gym. I made sure all my skills were the best they could be. I never said why, and no one ever asked me because we all knew the reason. I was waiting – pathetically waiting – for a hint at the whereabouts of Rinoa, to go after her. I was like a dog without a master. Not knowing what to do, not having a point in life anymore. So I sat and waited for something to happen. Something to react to, but it never came.

I looked at the background of my phone. It was a picture of Rinoa. She just woke up, her hair was a mess, and she was giving me the dirtiest look she could muster that early in the morning. It was my favorite picture. It was the natural her, the one I loved. Seeing it made me smile, the only time I ever smiled. Thinking back to her, the real her. How I wished she was still here with me. I could feel her around me, sitting next to me on the bed, rubbing my back with her chin resting on my shoulder. Her embrace was the warmest in the world. I could hold her all day and night if I could. But I can't anymore, because she's gone.

The world is cruel and torturous. My whole life had been a struggle, to finally give me happiness, and then yank it away. It made me so mad…so unbearably mad…it was just so…so…unfair. How can my life be this bad? Do I really deserve this? I've done a few bad things but to have this endless torture until my sanity crumbles was too much. I beg and plead to any god or entity to bring her back. I make soulless promises to an unknown being, that if she came back, the life I would live. I will literally try anything to have something change. But at the same time, I am so afraid of the current situation to change. I'm in a vat of stasis. She's missing, but not dead. If I ever received evidence that she was gone, my suffering could end, but a new harsher torment would begin. I wanted to hear something but at the same time I was too afraid to hear any news. It was a wicked cruel play from fate, to mess with me like this.

My phone suddenly lit up, causing me to squint since it was the brightest light in my dark room. It said it was an unknown number and for whatever reason, I answered it.

"Hello?" I mumbled monotone into the phone.

"Hello!" The voice called out on the other end. "Thank God, you answered. Squall, oh my God, Squall!"

My heart pounded hard in my chest as I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "R-Rinoa?"

"Squall!" She cried out on the other end. "I'm so happy to hear you."

"You're…this isn't…" I finally lost it, my mind was officially gone.

"Squall," She was crying, I could tell. "I'm alive."

I'm Alive. Those words rang throughout my mind like a choir preaching. The two words that held so much substance it was hard to comprehend. Everything I experienced, everything I wished for over the last three months was happening right now. It took a moment for me to grasp what they truly meant. My lips mouthed the two words to help me understand – to comprehend what was happening. She was alive. Rinoa was alive…Rinoa was alive!

"Rinoa!" I screamed jumping to my feet. "Where are you!"

"I can't say," She quickly answered. Damn, they must've kept her blindfolded the entire time. I was expecting that, so I wasn't too disappointed. How could I be, when I just found out she was alive.

"I'm so happy to hear your voice." She told me honestly.

"I know, I know," I held the phone with both hands like it would help me get closer to her. "I'm so happy you're alive." I felt tears coming to my eyes. This was real right? This was actually happening? I've had too many dreams that went like this. Then I'd wake up with the pit of emptiness hitting me so much I wanted to scream. This was too surreal, I was expecting to wake up any moment and be yanked back to reality. But it had to be real, it just had to be. I was pleading inside my head for this to be real.

"Squall, you need find me," her voice was cracking as she pleaded. "Please, I miss you so much. Find me." Those words chimed in my head, the words I was tormented with for months. Find me.

"I will, I swear I will," I assured her strongly. "But you have to tell me where you are? What happened? Who took you? I need to know."

"I can't say, I'm sorry, I know it's not helpful" She took a deep breath between the tears. "It's dangerous for me to even call you, but what about the ransom?"

"Ransom? There was no ransom." I told her.

"Yes there was," She insisted. "To my father, I know it wasn't a lie. Squall, is he getting the money ready? I know it's been months but it's been a while. Please, I want to go home."

This was insane, her father didn't mention anything about a ransom. Why would he cover that up? I couldn't tell Rinoa, I couldn't say that there wasn't any money. She called expecting me to save her, but what could I do? How was I supposed to tell her everyone thought she was dead and no one even bothered getting money ready? She risked her life to call me to ask when we were coming to get her…and I had to tell her we weren't. That people thought she was dead and moved on. This was so utterly cruel, I question how life can be so unfair and torturous.

She must've senses my lack of response since a very morbid chuckle sounded through the phone. "My father said no didn't he."

"Rinoa, I swear, I will find you. You don't need to count on your dad's money, count on me. Have I ever let you down? Ever?"

"The time you forgot the tickets to see my favorite singer." She choked out through her mixture of sobs and forced laughter.

I cracked a smile and felt awful inside. I needed her back, I needed her in my life again. "I will find you, but tell me something, anything, you know."

"I can't…I wish I could," She whimpered, "I wish I could be more help."

"It's okay, it's okay." I cursed through my teeth, I wish she could tell me something. "Who took you?"

"It was three guys, from my car." She told me.

"Okay, that's good," It was a start, "Anything else?"

"Oh God Squall, I have to go." Her voice rose high and scared. "I'm sorry, I miss you!"

"Is someone there!" I exclaimed. "Can you tell me what they look like?"

"Squall, I love you." She whispered desperately into the phone. I could imagine the guys, those brutal torments coming closer to her. "I love you." She said again, it was hard to understand it through her sobs, they were growing heavier. She was wailing into the phone, knowing we may never speak again. "Find me."

The two words uttered from her lips resounded throughout my head, ringing around long after the dial tone was heard. It was the first time I've heard from her in three months, I thought she was dead, and her last words to me were to find her. Something clicked in my head as I felt renewed determination, adrenalin rushing through my veins, and pure impetus to find the girl I loved. Nothing would stop me, I would not fail again. I would burn the world down to find her and if that's what I had to do, then so be it. I swore to myself, I would find her, no matter what it would take. I. Would. Find. Her.

I looked through my phone to find the call but it wasn't registered. I knew unknown numbers were tricky sometimes, God, I wished I recorded the call. Why was I so dumb? I needed someone who was better at this than me. I didn't wait another second to belittle myself as I dashed out the door. I sprinted down the hallway of Garden until I reached Selphie and Irvine's room. I banged on the door with my fist. "Selphie!" I shouted through the door. "Selphie!" I kept pounding.

A door in the room next to me opened. "Hey bro, it's fucking one-" He stopped when he saw who I was. "Sorry," was all he said before disappearing back in his room.

"Selphie open this fucking door!" I screamed.

The door cracked open to reveal Irvine. "Squall, what's wrong."

I didn't wait as I shoved him back and stepped into the room. He was just in his boxers and the way Selphie had the sheets gathered around her on the bed obviously meant I was interrupting, but I didn't care.

"Squall what's wrong?" Selphie asked.

"Can you trace an unknown number?" I asked hotly.

"What?" She looked confused.

"Can you trace an unknown number, from my phone." I spoke a little slower but I was still loud and excited. "My phone didn't even keep it in the called section, it looks like it isn't there."

"I-I don't know," She was shaking her head trying to think. "I mean…maybe, it depends, it's hard to explain. Squall, what's going on?"

"You okay, man?" Irvine asked placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I just got a call from Rinoa!" I exclaimed. "So, I need you to trace a cell phone, please." I hissed at the end.

"Rinoa!" Selphie sat up more in the bed, "She's alive."

"Yes!"

"That's great!" Irvine shouted clapping his hands. "She's alive!"

"Selphie, please," I ushered.

"Right," She jumped out of bed, completely nude, no longer caring. She grabbed a nearby bathrobe on the back of a chair that she probably discarded on the way to bed. "We need to go to the lab. Let's move."

Thirty minutes later I sat in a chair watching Selphie go to work. Irvine called the rest of the group here and they came almost immediately. It made me happy to know they still cared. Quistis alerted Cid and he announced a meeting first thing in the morning. But right now, we all sat watching Selphie try and find something. I sat in a chair, with my leg bouncing up and down in anticipation. I felt like Zell, but I couldn't stop it. I was glad no one told me everything would be alright, that would put me over the edge. My headache was still pounding, the excitement only made it worse so I took so more pills. I was already over the recommended dosage for the day but what did it matter at this point.

Selphie sat back in her chair and spun around to face us. She was moments away from tears. "Squall…I'm sorry, I can't…I tried, I did…it's unresponsive. Unknown numbers are always tricky or…they could've destroyed it…or…I don't know. Squall…I'm so sorry."

"Did you record the message," Seifer quickly pressed on, not letting one bump in the road stop us.

"No." I quickly answered because I felt like shit for not recording it at the time.

"It's okay Squall," Quistis told me. "I know hearing her must've been all you were thinking about. Can you remember any of it?"

"I remember all of it." I strongly replied. I told them everything and at one point Selphie cried more. Irvine rubbed her arm but it didn't help much. This was good news, but it made us all feel like absolute crap.

"It's not much," Zell stated. "We can search again, now that we know she's still out there."

"Especially now we know they're keeping her alive, we won't have a time clock ticking down," Quistis added but then looked at me. "Of course, we'll rush."

I nodded at her, "Then you're all with me?" They all nodded back with serious determinations. "We are all going to find her, and this time, we aren't stopping no matter what."

"Yes Sir," They chorused back and saluted.

"Then let's get to work, we're surrounded by computers. Let's find any information we can. Off the record cell service since the call didn't have full bars, they must not be in a major city. I don't give a damn what it is, we need to find something." I was proud to see them all go about their task instantly.

"I can't believe Caraway had a ransom." Irvine suddenly said out loud.

"And didn't pay it," Zell added. "That's horrible. You think it's true?"

I narrowed my eyes. "I'll find out at the meeting."

We didn't find anything interesting on the computers so we all decided to get some sleep. We knew tomorrow would be a long day of work and we'd need all the rest we could get. Of course, I didn't get any sleep, but that was expected. I played the phone conversation over and over in my head. Her voice was real. It had been so long since I heard it. There was a moment of hesitation where I questioned if it actually happened but I quickly shook that thought aside. I couldn't think like that, it just had to be her, I couldn't take it if it wasn't. I had to get her back, I would get her back.

Morning came with no sleep and I quickly dressed in my SeeD uniform. I would look my part as I addressed the council. When I made it to the council room, the meeting was at eight in the morning. My team was waiting outside. Only Quistis could go in with me since she was my second in command. But the support from my team meant a lot and I really appreciated it.

"Let's do this." I told Quistis marching passed and shoving the doors open. She followed in closely behind me.

I explained the entire situation to the council of five members, one for each country.

I explained every word, every detail of the phone conversation. I looked at Caraway many times over the explanation to see how he would react. He remained as emotionless as ever which was proof of his history as a soldier. When I was done, I explained that we needed to send out as many SeeDs as we could spare. I was completely shocked when the council seemed hesitant.

"You can't be serious." I looked around.

Cid folded his hands on the desk and leaned forward. "Squall…it's been three months since we've last seen Rinoa. The chances she's alive are next to nothing."

"I just got a phone call from her last night." I growled.

"Squall, I want to put this nicely." Cid paused thinking of his words. "Her disappearance has been tough on all of us, but you most of all. You haven't been dealing with your grief appropriately and we know you are having trouble sleeping. Sometimes, when something is on your mind constantly mixed in with not sleeping enough, things can seem real that well…aren't."

"Are you saying I'm making this up?" I couldn't believe this.

"You are an amazing SeeD," The Estharian representative spoke. "But we all have our problems. You just haven't gotten over yours yet."

"She's still alive!" I shouted.

"You're mental state is crumbling," The Estharian said calmly.

"Excuse me, Sir," Quistis stepped forward. "Commander Leonhart has taken the psych evaluation once a month as is required of all SeeD members. He has shown no sides of hallucinations of any sort, nor any signs of coming up with such a story as this. He's a stable as anyone and we are lucky enough to get a lead on Rinoa, we should take it."

"Commander Leonhart knows exactly what to say to the therapists to sound completely sane." Cid remarked. That was true, those sessions were a cake-walk.

"This is real, Sir." Quistis pressed.

"You believe him?" Cid asked completely seriously.

"One hundred percent, Sir." Quistis sounded professional as always.

"This is absurd!" Caraway exclaimed.

"Don't you dare speak!" I shouted at him.

"Don't you talk to me that way!" He yelled back at me.

"You refused to pay the ransom!" I yelled. "She could've been home by now."

"There was no ransom." He laughed angrily. "I know for a fact that they never made contact with me otherwise I would've paid any price to get her back."

"Yeah, I heard you comments to the news, all very polished."

"Face it like a man Leonhart." Caraway eyed me with a stern unwavering voice of hatred. "She's dead."

"How dare you!" I jabbed an angry finger in his direction. "That's your daughter!"

"I know," Caraway huffed. "You cannot imagine how hard it is for me to say it but I've moved on. You have to do. Take a damn vacation, get away, and collect yourself!"

"Fuck your vacation!" I screamed.

"Enough!" Cid yelled. He looked at me heatedly. "Squall, you're an incredible SeeD. Rinoa's kidnapping was horrible, but it's over. You need help, you cannot go on like this."

"I don't believe this." I felt faint, I never expected they wouldn't believe me. "How much have I done for you!" I barked. "I have gone to the ends of the world without questioning you. The one time I ask you for help, you turn me away!"

"She's gone Squall!" Cid cried out. "I'm sorry, you need to accept it. To think that suddenly after three months she had a phone to call you? That's absurd! With no ransom, they have no reason for keeping her alive."

"There is a fucking ransom!" I shouted throwing my arms in the air. I pointed at Caraway. "He's lying. He's a greedy bastard that won't pay a cent for his own blood."

"That's it boy!" Caraway stood up and jumped over the desk. "I've got thirty years on you and I'll still kick your ass."

"General!" Cid shouted.

I marched towards him, fully ready to beat the son of a bitch to a bloody pulp but Quistis stood in front of me. She held me back easier than I'd expect but she was a SeeD as well after all. The other council members quickly rushed to block Caraway from getting to me. We edged closer to one another until I finally got my hands on his tie. I pulled it hard enough for his nose to be touching mine.

I glared right into his eyes as I threatened him with very true words. "If I ever find out you didn't pay a ransom, I will kill you. I promise you, I will kill you."

"Go ahead and try!" He shouted. "You dare bring up these painful memories to me – of my daughter. You think you loved her, I loved her more than you could ever imagine."

"Both of you get back now!" Cid hissed. "Squall, you are on house arrest until I figure out what else to do with you."

"Don't bother I'm gone." That didn't sound like that big of a deal, but it meant a whole lot. It meant I was quitting SeeD. You don't just quit SeeD, like you don't just quit the army. It also meant I was going rogue to find Rinoa, which was another issue in and of itself.

"You will be blacklisted!" Cid screamed at me. "You will be put at the top of everyone's hit list, added to everyone's bingo book. All those people that can't touch you because of SeeD status will hunt you. You will become the priority target for every SeeD in the world. Going rogue will get you killed."

"I'm finding Rinoa because no one else will!" I shouted with deadly venom in my voice. "And no one is going to stop me."

"They will send the best after you." Cid warned, his voice lower since he couldn't believe this was actually happening.

"I am the best." I hissed reminding him of the truth. "No one can stop me."

"How many will you kill to reach someone that is already gone?" Cid questioned honestly.

I met his eyes without waver. "I will kill them all."

I turned around and marched out the doors while maturely flicking off all the council members. I threw the large doors open with both arms and came face-to-face with the rest of my team.

"Didn't go well by the sounds of it," Seifer commented in what was probably supposed to be a joke. I didn't have time for such nonsense.

"I'm going rogue." I informed them.

"What?" Irvine spoke for the group, all equally astonished. They looked to Quistis for confirmation who nodded.

"They'll hunt you." Zell told me.

"And a marry chase I shall give them." I marched passed them and headed towards my room. I heard footsteps behind me to see them all following me. "You can't come with me, you'll become targets yourself."

"Been boring around here honestly," Seifer shrugged.

"SeeD has been growing old," Zell laughed. "Could use a break."

"This isn't a vacation."

"You're right Squall, it isn't," Quistis said firmly. "We're finding Rinoa, so we're coming with you."

"Then we leave now," I growled on the outside but was secretly happy on the inside.

We didn't stop moving until we got into two cars and flew down the road towards Balamb city. It was where she was taken and it was where we'd start out search again. We could find leads here and Seifer had a safe house prepared in case the worst happened, which this was in a matter of speaking. We trusted SeeD completely, but when you're in our line of work – basically legal assassins for hirer – it's hard to trust anyone. Seifer established a safe house in every country around the world, ones SeeD didn't know about…we hoped. It wouldn't be long until they discovered this safe house since they knew we would head to the City first. The safe house itself was a shit hole, but that's the point. It only had a living room, a bedroom, and a bathroom. The walls needed a new coat of paint and the floor was dirty. We could hear the scampering of small footsteps in the wall, meaning the place was infested with mice. We didn't care about the living arrangements, we stayed in worse places. The importance was the stash here. There was a change of clothes for everyone, so we wouldn't stick out with our SeeD wear, and most importantly, the large stock pile of weapons.

"Everyone listen up." I commanded. Selphie, Quistis, and Zell took the couch. Irvine sat on the arm of the couch next to Selphie. Seifer and I both took a wooden chair from the small table that may have been considered the living room table if one spun it enough. I placed my chair facing the couch and Seifer placed his next to mine. "You guys can still turn back, you are far too valuable to let go."

"We aren't going back," Zell told me strongly. "We aren't Squall, it's as simple as that. Rinoa was like the sister I never had. If you didn't go rogue, I sure as hell was going to."

A series of murmurs of agreements and nods rang throughout the group.

"But do you know what you're getting into?" I asked them. "I am not exaggerating when I say I will do anything to get her back. This could get very ugly."

Seifer snorted, "We've never been the pretty group."

That was very true, our track record for missions was always perfect no matter the mission but we excelled at the impossible ones. The messy ones were always given to us because we never failed.

"Then you're with me, because once this starts, there is no going back. SeeD will hunt us, they will claim we are rogue and put us on the most wanted." I made sure they knew what they were getting into. I wasn't going to lie to them. "I can do this because I have nothing else to live for. I live for Rinoa and she's out there, so I have to find her. Once I do, I can live in the mud for all I care, as long as she's with me. But you guys, you have lives, you don't need to leave them."

"If you keep pushing us away I'm gonna start to feel ya don't want us here," Irvine joked.

"Squall," Selphie called my name sturdily, she leaned forward. "We are finding Rinoa, okay, accept it."

"Good." I smiled, never have I been this proud of my squad before. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're here. With us working together, I know we'll find her."

"I don't doubt that, but now I worry about SeeD after us." Seifer commented.

"They won't begin until tomorrow," I informed them. "They have a twenty-four hour rule before blacklisting. Sometimes the agent comes back or they work out some deal. Once we're blacklisted, there will be a masses amount of recourses after us, so they want to make sure they really need to do it."

"Who do you think they'll send after us?" Zell inquired. "There's always someone who leads the chasers."

"It will be Nida and Xu, no doubt," I answered. "They know us best, which makes them the best predators."

"Shit." Irvine cursed, "Those two are the wonder team, they may be better than us."

"No one is better than us," I quickly remarked. "Now, we don't worry about SeeD, they worry about us. All we do is look for Rinoa, we move quick enough, SeeD will never be able to keep up."

"What's the plan then?" Selphie questioned.

"Seifer found something," Quistis swiftly said aloud.

We all turned to Seifer. "After we all went to bed last night, I made a couple more calls. I have a lead on a group that apparently kidnapped a girl a few months ago."

"What?" This was true perfect, something didn't add up. "Why just now are you learning this? Who did you hear it from?"

He took a breath. "Fujin and Rajin."

Damn, I hated those two low-lives. They entered SeeD with Seifer long ago but were dishonorably discharged for too many misconducts. They were long time friends with Seifer so he never let them go. They adapted to the shady underworld well enough, and gave Seifer information now and again. They also gave Seifer wrong information now and again, so I never trusted them. I hated them and they hated me, so I couldn't think they were giving me accurate information.

"They're lying." I instantly said.

"They aren't." Seifer quickly defended his childhood friends. "Listen, okay, just let me explain."

"Why would they help me?" I interjected.

"They aren't," He growled, "They loved Rinoa, remember, they knew her as kids too. They couldn't give a fuck about you, but they want to find her just as badly."

I crossed my arms, "Alright, what did they say?"

Seifer looked like he was preparing himself since they obviously got the information in some shady way. "They were considering a short partnership with this group. So, they met the four of them to talk and see if they could do business. It's like any company business meeting, you have a few drinks and talk to get to know one another."

"Go on."

"So, they were talking about past jobs, what they've done. It became kind of like bragging. Fujin and Rajin said they had SeeD training, so they could pull off any job. The people they were talking to said they didn't need SeeD training, they could do anything a SeeD could do. Fujin found this strange since she thought they were just drug dealers. The one of them said – and Fujin promised me this was the exact wording – that a couple months ago they were paid a lot of money to kidnap some black-haired bitch."

"That could be Rinoa," Irvine stated the obvious.

"Exactly," Seifer nodded. "They went on to say that it was extremely short notice but were able to do it anyways. They said it was easy, that they just had to yank her from a car."

"That has to be her," Selphie added. "It has to be."

"Don't get your hopes up," I hastily told the group. "First, we can't trust Fujin and Rajin." Seifer was going to interject but I held up my hand. "They've been wrong before and this sounds too good to be true. There are fifteen to twenty people kidnapped a month. We're going on black hair and a car; that could be anyone."

"So what do you want to do?" Quistis inquired.

"Call Fujin, get that group's names and address." I aimed at Seifer. "We will ask them ourselves."

"Hell yeah!" Zell cheered.

Seifer went about contacting Fujin while the rest of us prepared. We all changed into street clothes, nothing flashy, jeans and shirts to blend in better. Most put on a coat since it was rather chilly out, with winter just around the coner. Everyone carried a handgun and a knife, except for me. Then Irvine packed up his sniper rifle into his case. Selphie grabbed her favorite weapon, a shotgun. Zell had stashed a number of handheld gloves and equipment here. Some gloves even had tasers in the knuckles so every punch had a thousand volts in it. The clothes Seifer prepared for me were too big, they hung loose on me and loose clothes have always just bothered me but my jeans fit well enough and I wore a plain white undershirt and threw on a leather bomber jacket. I didn't use weapons, I could find anything I needed on location…that was a special skill of mine.

After Fujin informed Seifer the address of this group, we quickly got into two new cars Seifer had prepared. The other two cars were from SeeD and easily recognized. Now, in our new dirty, rundown cars, we drove to the address. As expected, it was in a rather dirty part of town, but that would only work better for us. They had an apartment on the second floor of the building our two cars were parked outside of. We all stepped out of the cars, ready and prepared.

"Quistis, Selphie, you're sitting this one out."

"What?" Selphie whined.

"We need two getaway drivers if things go badly. There's only four in there so we should be able to handle it, and it looks like a small building. Too many people in there could end up screwing us over. Keep the engines running, map out our escape route, and get ready to leave at a moment's notice."

"Fine." Selphie pouted.

"Sexist." Quistis muttered. I gave her a confused glance. "What, the two women stay outside, that's all I'm saying." I let out a growl and ignored her comment. This was not the time to deal with stupid shit like that.

I marched with hard determination towards the door, with my three boys at my back. This was the first step in three months to finding Rinoa, I was not going to pass this up. I shut my eyes to concentrate and when I opened them I could see Rinoa standing next to me. She was walking with me towards the door, with a graceful smile on her face. I knew she wasn't there but the atmosphere grew warmer around me. She placed her hand on my arm as I walked and I tried to ignore her but it was hard. She was right next to me, she was there…but she wasn't. I knew she wasn't. Yet she wasn't going away, she kept walking and smiling at me. When we reached the door she stopped and finally spoke.

"Find me." She whispered before disappearing.

I quickly shook my head to get my sense back to reality.

"You okay man?" Irvine asked.

"Fucking perfect," I snapped at him and instantly felt bad after but I didn't apologize. Commanders never apologize to subordinates. "Let's just do this." I stepped aside for Zell to get better access to the door, it was heavy but nothing Zell couldn't deal with. I have yet to see a door he couldn't kick down with those monster legs of his. With one hard kick, the door flew open and slammed into the wall.

I stepped inside with the three following behind me. We marched up the stairs, passing a couple on the way up. They sensed something was wrong and instantly flattened themselves against the wall allowing us to pass. They didn't want anything to do with us and that was smart of them. When we grew closer to the desired apartment I gave my orders.

"There are three guys and one girl in there. They could be in bed, it's still early. I want all detained and ready to interrogate instantly." My voice was hard and dripping with venom. Three months I was waiting to take my anger out on someone and now I finally had someone to blame. "No guns unless absolutely necessary. I want this as violent and gruesome as possible. Can you handle that?"

"No problem," Seifer answered for them.

"It's payback time," Zell punched his fist into his hand.

"This is for Rin." Irvine growled.

We were all pissed off, that's good.

We found the right apartment and again I let Zell step in front of me. "Are we ready?" He asked looking around. All our eyes met with unwavering vigor. "Then let's find Rin." Zell took a couple steps back before charging the door. He kicked straight out, right above the door handle, and the door swung open furiously. It banged hard into the wall and Zell threw his elbow out to catch the rebound off the wall. Everything happened instantly I was glad we were the best team in the world.

We charged into the room as fast as possible, I went in last. The three guys and the one girl were sitting on the couch smoking a bowl. Apparently they weren't asleep but doing some wake-and-bake. They were frozen as we first entered but gathered themselves quickly. They instantly made a break for it. One man ran across the small room towards the kitchen to try and grab a kitchen knife. Zell was first one in and charged him. The man picked up the knife but Zell quickly disarmed him professionally. He grabbed his wrist, twisted it while kicking out his leg to lose balance and strength in his arm. That made it easy for Zell to completely disarm the weapon. With the knife discarded on the ground the man was open to the hurricane that Zell was. The blonde slammed him in the face with three rapid punches before squatting low and grabbing him around the waist. He lifted straight up, so the man was off his feet in a bear hug and then Zell leaned all the way backwards. Zell's acrobatic grace was evident, being able to bend his back to such extremes. He suplexed the man, who's head slammed into the ground.

"You need a warrant!" The other guy yelled as he tried to scatter to the back rooms but Seifer was on him.

"Do we look like cops!" He shouted as he grabbed the man by the back of his shirt and pulled him closer. "SeeD motherfucker!" He slammed the man's head into the glass coffee table. It shattered and the man was now awkwardly bent inside the wooden rim of the coffee table. Seifer kept a firm hand on the back of his head so he couldn't move.

The girl tried running as well, Irvine grabbed her hair and slammed her face into the wall repeatedly. She fell to the ground crying, her nose gushing blood, but Irvine never let go of her hair. She clawed at his hand but he kicked her strongly in her stomach. There was no discrimination, I don't know what Quistis was talking about…sometimes I'm sadistic, it comes with the line of work.

"One's moving in the back!" Irvine exclaimed pointing. The room we were in was the kitchen connected to a small living room. There was then a straight narrow hallway directly across from the door we entered in. It led to the bedrooms and bathrooms, but probably also a fire escape somewhere.

"I got him!" I charged as fast as possible down the narrow hallway. When he reached the end of the hallway, he slowed to turn the corner but I wasn't stopping. I dove on him and smashed through the window at the end of the hallway. We were both freefalling the two stories downward. He was screaming. I was dead silent staring into this man's eyes. He was going to pay. We slammed on top of a car, denting the roof pretty seriously. I rolled off him from the impact. I groaned as I got back to my feet and looked at the man. I used him to break my fall so he took the worst of it and it was really showing.

"Holy shit!" A man on the sidewalk cursed.

"Walk away." I told him angrily, and he was smart enough to listen. I climbed back onto of the car and knelt over the man. "Looks like someone's back is broken. Must've snapped your spine in half, I can't imagine the pain you're in." He was twitching but his limbs weren't moving at all. He was barely alive, but he was alive and that was the point. "I'll help you if you answer my questions. Did you kidnap a raven-haired girl three months ago?" I asked him with no response. "Did you kidnap her!" I screamed into his face.

A nod, a small one, but it was a nod.

"Where is she!" I shouted in his face as I grabbed his hair. "Is she alive!" No answer so I kept going. "What was her name! Where is she! Who told you to do it! Is she alive!" Still no answer. I put my knee on his chest and pressed downward. An excruciating whimper erupted from his mouth. "Is she alive!" I cried out again. "Is she alive damn it!" There still wasn't an answer. I wasn't letting this guy die without getting my answer. These three horrible months, waiting for this moment, I wasn't going to let it pass. "Is she alive!" I screamed again. I needed to hear it from him, I needed the words to come from someone. Because the phone call being real was now really plaguing my mind. It had to be real but I needed someone else to say it. To know, that she was alive somewhere, and I could save her. "Is she alive!"

"Y-yes." He gasped out.

That was it, that was it! She's alive, she's really alive. It was ringing throughout my head, trying to comprehend the words. I got off him and hopped off the car.

"H-help me." Drool starting falling from the corner of his mouth.

I chuckled wickedly. "Enjoy your excruciating death."

I left him to die painfully on the dented car and headed back inside. When Selphie and Quistis saw me walk from around the corner they gave me a worried look. I pumped my hand down to let them know everything was alright and then headed back inside. I found the apartment and shut the door behind me. They had the guy and girl on the couch. The other guy was still lying on the floor.

"Is he dead?" I snarled at Zell.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to break his neck in the slam." Zell answered sheepishly.

"That's reckless," I scowled him.

"Because diving out a window isn't." Seifer remarked.

"Later." I hissed. "We have business."

I grabbed a chair from the kitchen table which was right near the couch. I placed it in front of the broken coffee table facing the guy and girl on the couch.

"She's obviously Lindsay," I nodded towards the girl. "Are you Mikey, Jeff, or Tyler?"

The man didn't say anything but smiled arrogantly. His head was bleeding pretty baldy from being smashed through the glass coffee table.

"You're other two friends are dead," I told him calmly. "That's not good for you. I could've spread the pain across the four of you until the first one broke. But now that there are only two of you, I'm going to have to double the pain."

"What's this about, why would SeeD care about drugs?" The man spoke calmer than I expected.

"It's about the girl you kidnapped three months ago."

"We didn't kidnap anyone." He responded quickly.

"Is that so," I looked at the girl, "Lindsay, is he telling the truth?"

"I-I don't know," she was crying and holding her nose which didn't look like it was done bleeding yet. "I only started dating Tyler a few weeks ago." Her eyes moved to the man next to her which revealed his name.

"So you're Tyler?" I asked the man. "That's not good, because this means now all the torturing has to be done to you."

"Fuck you." He chuckled, "I'm not talking anymore."

"Oh I'll get you to speak." I smiled devilishly. True to his words he didn't say anything. "Here's what I want to know. I want to hear you describe the girl, if you know her name I want you to say it. I want to know who put you up to this, because we know you're drug dealer. You must've gotten a large amount of cash to do something like this. I want to know where you delivered her and to whom she was given. I want to know it all."

He still didn't say anything.

"What did she look like?" I questioned.

"They don't kidnap people!" Lindsay cried out. "They don't!"

"If you speak one more time, I will kill you. You don't know anything about this which means you're expendable, so shut up." This seemed to freak the girl out enough to never speak again.

"What did she look like?" I interrogated again. "I know you had her, the man with the broken back outside already told me you took her and she's alive." I could hear a release a breath from Zell and a small happy fist clench from Irvine. I looked around the group. "Yes, I have confirmation, she's alive. So now, we need to get the information out of this guy and he likes to believe he can stay quiet."

Seifer chuckled, "He'll talk real soon."

"Zell, Irvine, hold him down." The two moved and grabbed his arms pinning him down on the couch. The girl was petrified since she had to sit next to him, watching this happen. The man looked a little nervous now that he was being pinned down by Zell and Irvine. I stood up and stepped inside the wooden barriers of the broken coffee table. The crunch of glass could be heard under my feet. I twisted my foot on the group to break it up a little more. I bent down and scooped up a bunch of little pieces in my hand along with one medium sized piece. I stood up and moved my hand around a little to stir the glass in my hand. The man eyed me worriedly as I stared at him with eyes cold as death. "Seifer…open his mouth."

Seifer moved towards the guy who now started to freak out. "W-wait don't…don't!" Seifer grabbed his jaw and forced it open. He stepped to the side to allow me better access.

"You don't wanna speak huh?" I stepped closer to him. "You better speak up quickly or you'll never speak again." I didn't wait for an answer as I slammed my fist full of glass into his mouth. Seifer shut his jaw and kept both hands on it to keep it closed. I grabbed his hair and shook his head around to really mix up the glass. Then I started shouting the questions again. "Who told you to kidnap her! Where did you take her!" I made my voice deep and rough, as I barked into his face. Spit flying freely onto his face. Tears were streaming down his face and his nostrils were flaring to breathe. He was trying hard to get away but with the four of us on him there was no chance. Lindsay next to us was screaming and crying watching this horrific display.

"Where is she!" I screamed in his face. "Tell me or never speak again! Where did you take her! Who told you to kidnap her!" I shook his head more as tears starting streaming down his face. I could see his throat trying not to swallow but it was the body's reaction, it was hard to fight. "Where is she! Who are you working for! Tell me!"

Through all the commotion I could hear a very muffled but desperate 'okay'. We all released him and he began spitting out glass. It didn't take long for him to start coughing and he was seconds away from vomiting but somehow he was able to get under control. There was a fair amount of blood pooling out of his mouth as well. It dripped down his chin and stained his shirt.

"Will you tell me everything I want to know?"

"Yes, yes, I swear, I will." He was still crying and kept spitting, but it was mostly blood as this point.

"Did you kidnap a girl three months ago?"

"Yes."

Things just streamlined from there.

"What did she look like?"

"Black hair, skinny, small, brown eyes."

"Do you know her name?" I questioned.

"Rinoa," He answered. "I saw it in the news the next day."

Zell looked immensely happy hearing these answers and I couldn't blame him. We were finally getting somewhere after three months.

"Why did you do it?" I continued my questioning. "You're drug dealers."

"We were paid," He was calming down but the blood was still dripping from his mouth. I'm glad he didn't swallow much of it or he would've died and we'd be screwed.

"A lot?"

He nodded. "More than I've ever seen."

"What was the catch?"

"It had to be done in the next twenty minutes." He chuckled morbidly. "I sounded impossible but it went smoothly. We yanked her from the car and handed her off. We got paid, that was it. We didn't question it."

"Why didn't you take any of the money?"

"What?" He looked at me confused.

"Her purse spilled during the crash, there was literally cash laying right there. It would've taken less than a second. People like you always take extra cash. Why didn't you take it?"

He shook his head. "It was important we follow instructions perfectly. We were nervous, they didn't say take anything else so we didn't."

"Who gave you this job?" I pressed.

"I can't say that." He was breathing funny. "I can't…we'll die."

"You're both dead anyways." I told them seriously. This caused Lindsay to cry harder. "The difference is how you die. Bullet to the head or choking on glass."

Tyler seemed completely out of it to the point where he laughed. "What's the point then right? Fine, it was Tucker Davis. We brought the girl to his house in the suburbs, Sunshine Valley. It's 1180 and it's the only yellow house in that area, you can't miss it. He organized the deal, he has all your answers."

I pulled out my gun and flipped the safety off.

"I don't wanna die," Lindsay cried out. "Please, I won't say anything, I don't wanna die."

I looked at her without waver of my morals. "I've done worse for far less, I'm sorry. You think what we did was bad, if the people who are after us catch you. They will interrogate you for weeks."

She was sobbing with a mixture of snot dripping down her broken bloody nose. I didn't want to torture her anymore so I quickly shot one bullet right into her head. Her body went limp and the deed was done. I wasn't lying, SeeD would find her and torture her far worse than anything I could so. There needed to be no loose ends.

"Hey, tell me one thing," Tyler was passing out. Some of the glass must've gotten down his throat after all. Something was definitely not right with him. I didn't respond which was my way to allow him to speak. "Who is this girl, why did she need to be kidnapped so badly and how come three months after people are still looking for her? And SeeD no less."

"She was General Caraway's daughter." I told him. "But that's not why I'm here." I leaned forward planting the chamber of my handgun against his forehead. "I love her and will not stop until I have her back."

Tyler's eyes were shut but he cracked a smile. "I'm sorry…I really am…I hope…you find her."

I pulled the trigger to make sure he was dead and not just passing out.

"Let's move." I told the group quickly heading towards the door. They followed after me briskly and we hurried down the stairs. We got outside and without anymore words we got into the cars. We went right back to the safe house. I'm not sure about the other car, but no one spoke in mine. We'd wait until the safe house before we made our next move.

When we arrived, we all collapsed either on the couch or in chairs. Seifer told Quistis and Selphie what happened. They were relieved to know Rinoa was alive and that we had a solid lead on where to go next.

"Something isn't adding up," Quistis said. "Why was there such a rush to get Rinoa? That seems weird doesn't it? Previously, we thought they were just thugs, but that didn't make sense because the money and valuables were still laying in the car. Now we know why the money was still there, because they weren't supposed to take anything, I don't know why but whoever told them made it awfully clear to be exact. So we know she was kidnapped for a reason, but it was barely planned. That's why it has amateur look all over it. So why the rush?"

Irvine shrugged, "She was always in Garden or with one of us. Maybe this was the one time she was alone, and they wanted her."

"I guess." Quistis mumbled not really believing that reason so easily.

"I don't know either," I told them. "Honestly, that can all be figured out later. Right now, we know Rinoa's alive and we know where to go next. Tucker Davis orchestrated this operation, we'll ask him. Selphie, I want you to find a computer somewhere and get everything you can on him."

"Yes, Sir," She nodded.

"The suburbs have nosey neighbors; we have to wait until night to break in otherwise someone will surely notice. This gives us time to rest. I suggest we take it, it's been a long day so far and it's only four in the afternoon. We need to get the desired information out of Tucker Davis tonight so we can make out next move before SeeD even starts hunting us. The first thing they'll do is head to the city, just like us. If we can leave it quick enough they may never find our trail. Understand?"

"Yes, Sir." They chorused back to me.

Selphie went out into the city to find a public computer lab. She knew how to remain undetectable from SeeD while still searching for the appropriate subjects we needed. The rest of us preoccupied ourselves with whatever we could find. Time passed slowly but it did pass. After a few hours Selphie returned with printed out pages.

"What you find?" I asked.

"Tucker Davis is interesting, that's for sure." She passed out all the printed copies. Girl was smart enough to make six copies of everything for each person. "First and foremost, he's technically a real estate agent, but he makes way too much money for that. He has many shady dealings but for some reason, he gets away with them all, he must be well connected. He is kinda the small mob boss in these parts. He has his fingers in everything, from drugs, to what we're interested in – kidnappings. Of course this is all rumor, since there is no proof, but there should be proof. If I found stuff this easily, without even accessing SeeD software. Then he should be behind bars years ago. We have to be careful with him, we can't piss off whoever he's working for or we'll be running from SeeD and whoever else."

"This makes sense," Quistis flipped a few pages. "Random thugs don't kidnap people, but if someone bigger is behind this, he'd know all about Rinoa being Caraway's daughter. He could have her followed, known her schedule, wait for her to be alone, and strike. It makes sense why the timeframe was so small. Tucker contacting Tyler and them instantly must mean Tucker was waiting for such a call. He had people lined up just in case."

"This also raises problems," Seifer added. "Bigger people behind the scenes makes sense, but it also means just that. Bigger fish we'll have to deal with. It could cause problems."

"It doesn't matter who we deal with." I told them all heatedly, making sure they understood. "We are finding Rinoa, I don't care if we have to burn this world down in the process."

"We're with you brother, don't worry." Seifer nodded.

"Everyone get something to eat and let's get some sleep." I told them. "It's five o'clock right now, we'll move after midnight. Pack your gear now, we won't come back to this location again. Once we get the location on where Rinoa is, we're going directly there. That's why sleep now is important, we may be awake for the next twenty four hours."

"Hey, we all passed the seventy-two hour no sleep exam, right?" Zell laughed. "We can all work sleep deprived.

"Still try and get sleep," I told them sincerely. "Trust me, I know how bad things can get."

"Yes, Sir." They all told me.

"Also, Seifer you got anything for headaches?" He created the safe house he'd know if there was any.

"Got a headache?" He asked.

"No, I just asked for-"

"Don't be an asshole," He grimaced cutting me off and standing up. "Yeah, I got something, let me find it."

I took the medicine as soon as I got it, the pain in my head never seemed to go away. People busied themselves with tasks for a while until one-by-one we started falling asleep. The girls shared the bed, Irvine took the couch, Zell slept on the floor not caring, Seifer and I both were in chairs. We were completely capable of sleeping in uncomfortable wooden chairs. Hell, we can fall asleep standing up. We've had to do it before on missions, so sitting in these chairs wouldn't stop us.

Once the hours grew later, the room was filled with a mixture of rhythmic breathing and the occasional snore by Zell. I was the last one awake. I made sure my team got rest before me. I looked over them all, happy they were with me on this. It meant a lot how much they trusted me. They were my one true family in this world, but it was empty since Rinoa was gone. Once I get her back, we'd be complete again.

I looked over at Seifer to see his head tipped far back with his mouth open. It made me smile despite of everything going on. Some things just never change. But the smile quickly vanished as I hated the night. It was the time when dreams mixed with reality, when the planes of lies and truths crossed, the flicker of a shadow, the unknown noise sounding in the distant. The thin hours of a day, the time I hated the most. Night always plagued me with horrible images of what I thought Rinoa was going through. What terrible things she had to experience as I was sitting here doing nothing. Did she scream out my name when the monsters did their sick acts on her? Did she fight them or eventually give up and accept her fate? Did she plead to God for me to save her or did she think I was never coming? It was sickening to think about.

I shut my eyes trying to empty my mind and I felt something on my lap. I opened my eyes and Rinoa was there, sitting on my lap, smiling delicately at me. "Hey baby." She greeted wrapping her arms around me.

"Hey." I whispered back. "I miss you."

"I always wanted to hear you say that to me," She smiled softly, "I guess I finally got the chance."

"Why would you ever want to hear me say that?" I asked her curiously. My hands ran up and down her arms, feeling her essence near me again. The ambiance that she brought with her, how warm it felt. I haven't felt this warm in so long, everything was cold when she wasn't around. It was dark, bitter, and unforgiving. But her smile put that all aside.

She giggled slightly, "Meanie, you know why. I always wanted to know you loved me."

"Of course I do." I told her seriously wrapping my arm tightly around her.

She played with my hair. "I love you to, you know that right."

"I know baby, I do." I couldn't look away from her calm chocolate eyes. The soothing ability of her presence was memorizing. Was this what my life was life before she was gone? Did I feel like this all the time? I felt like an addict taking a hit every time she came near. But I knew in the back of my mind…she wasn't really here.

"Will you find me?" She placed both her hands on my face, bringing her lips close to mind.

"I will." I promised her.

"Find me, Squall." Her lips delicately graced mine and I could feel them. I could really feel them. But when I opened my eyes, she was gone. In her place was a dark, cold room. The warm glow washed away as a new chilling sensation overtook me. It was so depressing. No one understands what it feels like to be lifted so high, to have such a wondrous feeling overtake me, and then come crashing back to reality. It was beastly cruel to feel such a pain.

"What was that?" My head snapped to see Seifer staring at me.

"Nothing." I quickly answered. A guilt swelled inside me like I was caught stealing. "A bad dream. Sorry to wake you."

Seifer didn't buy that for a second. "You weren't dreaming and I wasn't asleep."

"What?" I gave him a confused look. "I saw you…your head was tipped back, you were fast asleep."

"That never happened," He assured me, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "We made eye contact like a minute ago, I gave you a nod, but you ignored me. Now I know why. Did you just…see Rinoa?"

"It was a dream." I stood firm.

"You weren't asleep." He didn't back down either. "Are you having hallucinations?"

"What? No." I told him strongly. "I'm not crazy."

"I'm not saying you are." He backed off slightly but not for long. "But I know you haven't been sleeping well, things happen. I just wanna know if you just saw Rinoa."

"No, I didn't." I shot back.

"Damn it Squall!" Seifer raised his voice but stopped himself. He looked at Irvine to see him still asleep on the couch before continuing quieter. "You said it was a dream, that meant you saw her, but it wasn't a dream. So it must've been a hallucination."

"Well it wasn't, so I don't know what to tell you." I recoiled finding my position very grim.

"I know why you don't want to admit it, I understand."

"Why's that?" I questioned but I already knew the answer. I didn't want it going there…it couldn't go there.

Seifer leaned forward and took a moment to compose himself. "…was the call real?"

"How could you fucking ask that?" I angrily hissed in a whisper.

"I need to know."

"Oh, will you leave me?"

"No, I will follow you anywhere." He replied honestly. "If you wanna make…I don't know…fucking snowmen in Trabia, I'll do that with you. But I want to know what's really going inside your head."

"Nothing is," crossed my arms and straightened in my chair. "Now get some sleep, we are making our move in a couple hours."

Luckily that was the end of it, he didn't press the topic anymore, and I was glad because honestly…I was afraid at where it might lead.  
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"Nida, Xu, good to see you." Cid stepped into his office. The two SeeDs were standing at attention at his desk. He put down two folders on the desk. "Sorry to call you back from your two ongoing missions, these folders contain your new mission."

"You said it was an emergency, Sir?" Xu asked.

"It is, as of eight hundred this morning, Squall and his squad have gone rouge." Cid informed them as he sat in his chair. "At ease." The two SeeDs put their hands behind their back and feet a foot apart.

"Rouge?" Nida was shocked. "Are you sure? Why?"

"Leonhart has officially lost his mind." Cid looked at them seriously. "He is convinced Rinoa Heartily is still alive."

"She was taken three months ago." Xu said.

"Exactly," Cid pointed to her and then back to Nida. "He's lost it, personally I can't blame him, but that doesn't mean he can go rouge. In fact, it means he's even more dangerous. Who knows what he might do."

"His squad went with him?" Xu inquired.

"He tricked them into believing him." Cid answered.

"They probably followed them on their own free will." Nida remarked.

"Excuse me?" Cid gave Nida a serious look.

"What I mean Sir, is that I hope my squad would follow me to the ends of the world, no matter what I told them. His Squad – Double J-E – is known for being undeniably loyal to Squall. It's not shocking to see them follow him."

"You raise a good point," Cid admitted. "Nevertheless, they need to be hunted down. I hate to give this order. I was hoping that the squad would be able to change Leonhart's mind, but after what you just said. It's clear they'll follow him to wherever he goes, which can be no place good. They need to be stopped. You two know them the best and are among the highest SeeD ranks."

"Yes Sir." Xu saluted.

"Respectfully Sir," Nida was hesitating. "Double J-E has the best SeeDs in the world…to hunt them down isn't as easy as you say. They have hidden safe houses all over the world, one's kept secret from SeeD. They have contingency plans for this very situation of SeeD betraying them."

"They betrayed us!" Cid exclaimed. "Don't you dare think they are in the right!"

"No Sir, sorry Sir!" Nida quickly apologized loudly. "That was not my intent. I was simply implying that it's hard enough to find them, but once that happens. Restraining them will be next to impossible. All are extremely skilled plus Zell Dincht is the greatest close-quarters-combat expert…in the world. I've seen him fight with his hands bound, I'm not refusing this mission. I just want you to understand you're aware of what it actually means."

"If Zell can fight without his hands," Xu interjected. "Then we'll wrap chains around him." She gave Nida a look suggesting 'stop talking'. Nida sighed, Xu was always like this, a suck up to authority.

"You don't have to restrain them," Cid stood up and walked around his desk. "Do you understand?"

"The procedure of rogue SeeDs is to apprehend them and submit them to trial." Nida quickly answered.

"Yes, but there's also a claim that if they become too violent, it's acceptable to put them down." Cid placed a hand on both their shoulders. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes Sir!" Xu answered like a true SeeD.

"Y-Yes Sir." Nida anwered with a slow salute.

He understood the need to retrain a rogue SeeD but Cid wasn't ordering that. He was putting a kill order on the entire team.

"Can I ask one last thing, Sir?" Nida asked expecting to be shut down.

Cid seemed wiry, "…Go ahead."

"Why now? Why is he suddenly going after her again?"

"He thinks she called him last night." Cid answered.

"Well…did she?" Nida questioned.

Cid narrowed his eyes. "I don't like your attitude SeeD. No, she did not call, there is no record on his phone, and Tilmitt could not find any record of a phone call after thirty minutes of trying."

"It could've been an unknown number, sometimes that happens." Nida said it offhandedly, something just wasn't right.

"The only thing you need to know, is what I order you to do. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." Nida saluted, he pushed his luck far enough.

"Take your orders," Cid handed the two SeeDs the folders. "Dismissed."

Nida quickly left the room and opened his folder. A SeeDs worst nightmare was to hunt down another SeeD. Every SeeD knew that if their friend went rogue, it would be up to them to bring that friend back, because they knew the most about them. Nida wasn't too close with Squall's squad, but he was the closest besides Xu, plus his track record, it only made sense he'd be assigned this. Not that he liked it, hunting another SeeD felt like betraying everything he stood for. He opened up the folder to see a picture of Squall staring back at him.

Hunting a rogue SeeD was one thing…hunting Squall Leonhart was totally different. For one…no one hunts Squall Leonhart. One can think they're hunting him, but in reality, he's the one hunting.

Nida ran a tired hand through his hair, "damn this suck."  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
"What do you want?" Tucker shouted from the chair he was duck-taped too.

I stood in front of him with my gun hanging lazily in my hand. Everything went according to plan. It was just a little after midnight when we reached the suburbs he lived in. We were careful to sneak into his house, which is simple compared to the hundreds of other security covered hideouts we snuck into in the past on SeeD missions. We were positive no one saw us, because we waited for twenty minutes watching out the windows, ready to make a break for it if we had to. We found Tucker on the couch, it was easy to force him into a wooden kitchen chair and duck-tape him too it. The only part that we didn't expect…his family. I don't know how Selphie missed it, just too obvious I suppose. I looked to my right to see his wife and two children on their knees. The kids looked to both be around age five, one boy and one girl. They were in bed but we couldn't leave them there, in case they heard something and came downstairs. It would traumatize them, but I couldn't take the risk of a kid calling the police. They were petrified, with good reason. They clung to their mother for protection she could not provide. Selphie and Quistis stood behind them, making sure they didn't move. Seifer was behind me, also in front of Tucker. Zell and Irvine stood behind Tucker, facing towards me.

"I have money, you want it, take it." He was angry. I could deal with him being angry but it would've been much better if he was scared.

"We don't want your money," I told him. I grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and dragged it over to the living room, which is where we were. I placed it in front of him, now only a coffee table stood between us.

"Then what? Drugs, you can have that too."

"What if we were cops, you just admitted to the procession of drugs." I spoke calmly fixing my jacket as I sat in the chair.

"You obviously aren't." He drawled out. "So just tell me what you want, so you can get out of my house."

"That's good," I crossed one leg over the other and sat relaxed. "I want information, you tell me what I want to know, and we're gone. You'll never see us again."

He seemed surprised by this. He gave me a curious look. "What information?"

"A kidnapping three months ago."

His eyes lit up instantly. "No, no, I can't, I'm sorry."

"So you know what I'm talking about?"

"Of course, fucking Tyler led you to me, oh I'm gonna kill him."

"Don't worry, he's dead."

Tucker for the first time looked at me with some fear. "You?"

"Of course," I replied evenly. "Don't underestimate us, or you'll end up dead too."

"Then do it." He shrugged the best he could while duck-taped to a chair. "If I tell you about that night, I'm dead anyways."

"So there was someone bigger behind the scenes."

"Of course, massive people that will fuck you up. You are in so far over your head." Tucker wasn't being silent that was good but he was also fairly cryptic.

"Do you know who they took?" My first real question and he seemed hesitation to answer. I switched legs and crossed the other one. "Did you know…who they took?" I repeated.

"Yes, okay, yes." His hands moved like he was trying to throw his arms outwards but again…the tape stopped him. "She was Rinoa Heartily, the daughter of General Caraway."

"You what?" his wife gasped from the ground to my right.

"Shut up!" He shouted at her. "You wanna know what paid for this house and our life? Shit like that okay, don't belittle me now. You knew and pretended otherwise."

"Shut up." My voice was calm but strong and it was enough to silence them both. I looked at Tucker, "Do you know if she's alive?"

"How the hell should I know?" He looked at me like I was an idiot.

I moved on since I already knew the answer to the last question, I was just trying to get a general understanding of how much Tucker knew "How much did you get?"

"Don't make me talk about it, please, they'll kill me."

"I'll kill you." I reassured him. "You can live through tonight and worry about tomorrow, or die tonight and have no tomorrow."

"Three million gil, okay! You happy!" He exclaimed. "These two shady guys in all black, appeared in my home with a briefcase full of money. They said, 'this is all yours if you can kidnap the girl in the next hour.' So I did it, I didn't know who the girl was until later. When someone gives you three million gil you don't ask questions. I don't even know who those guys were, I still don't."

"You never tried to find out?"

"Of course I did, I looked to see who I just dealt with. They found me before I even came close to uncovering them. They put a gun in my mouth and told me if they found me snooping around one more time, they'd kill me. I took that warning pretty seriously and never tried finding them again. They also told me they were watching and keeping me safe as well." That explains how he wasn't arrested yet, someone high up liked him, even if Tucker didn't know it. "So I don't know who ordered me to do it, sorry, no help to you there."

"Then why are you so afraid they'll come after me if you talk to me? You don't know who they are." My questions were all for a reason and they were all leading somewhere.

"Because I know they're watching me. I just know it, they're too good to get caught, but that doesn't mean they don't have this placed bugged or me followed. I'm not saying anymore, or I'm a goner. They know I haven't said anything bad yet, so this is it. I'm sorry, I don't know what relationship you had with the girl, I'm sorry she's gone, but she is, okay? Leave now before we're all dead."

"I'm not leaving." I told him truly. "Not until you tell me where they took her."

"I. Don't. Know." He spoke slowly and loudly. "Get it through your head. Tyler brought her here, I gave him sixty thousand gil, he left. The two guys took her, and they left, that's it."

"There's more." I pressed. "There's always more, you're leaving stuff out."

"I'm done." He shook his head. "That's it, if I'm alive tomorrow I'll be amazed. So kill me now, whatever, I don't care. I don't know anything, you need info that I don't have. What are you gonna do? Shoot me? That won't get you anywhere. It's your move buster."

"Last guy who didn't talk swallowed a mouth full of glass." I menacingly informed him.

"Go for it." He opened his mouth wide. "I'll shallow that shit in a second."

I smirked and it surprised him. He expected this to make me hesitate but I was already ten steps ahead. I stood up slowly and readjusted my grip on the gun. "You will tell me everything I want to know. You will give me a better description of the guys who were here, and exactly what they told you. Down to every last detail."

"I won't." He shook his head slowly. "I've been tortured before you know. Both my knees were broke to a loan shark, so really, you don't scare me."

I openly laughed at that. "You don't have the slightest clue who I am, if you did, you'd be wetting yourself right now. Those big people who paid you, they are small fish compared to me. The things I've done in my life would give people nightmares. It would mess with their mind so much they'd end up in an insane asylum."

"So what are you? A serial killer?" Tucker laughed.

"I guarantee that's the last time you laugh tonight." I smiled wickedly at him, my SeeD training taking over. I pointed my gun at his family on their knees to my right. They all stared at me with frightened eyes. The mother held her children close whispering false words of comfort into their ears. "Start talking or things are going to get very bad."

He looked nervous for a second before calming down. "My wife is planning on divorcing me, so go ahead. Shoot her, I'll keep the kids and the house. You'll do me a favor." I wasn't sure if he was bluffing or being serious but it didn't really matter to me.

I gave him an iniquitous grin, "I never said I was starting with your wife."

He gave me the strongest a horrified expression I have ever seen.

I briskly moved over and grabbed the little girl by her hair. Her mother tried to fight me but Selphie pulled her away. The little girl was screaming in a high shrill for her mother. I dragged her over to the coffee table and put her face down. Her small face was pressing into the hardwood of the table as she kept crying for her mother. Her tears were dripping onto the table as she squirmed to get away. I kept a firm hand of her hair in my left hand as I pressed the end of my handgun to her skull.

"Who were the two men!" I screamed.

Tucker laughed, which surprised me. "You won't kill a child."

I raised my eyebrows, "Are you sure?"

"Just tell him!" his wife cried out with tears streaming down her face.

"Shut up!" Tucker ordered her. He looked back at me. "He won't shoot a child, no one kills children."

"I can kill your daughter to prove I mean business, then use your son as leverage. You're really willing to take that risk." I laughed menacingly. "Really? You're risking your daughter's life on a gut feeling."

He shrugged. "You won't do it, I know you won't."

"We aren't the good guys!" I screamed at him.

"Obviously." He sarcastically answered which angered me greatly.

"Who were the two guys!" I shouted. "Tell me, I swear I'll do it!" I pressed the gun harder into the child causing her to scream more.

Tucker smirked, "You suck at bluffing."

"You just killed your daughter, understand that." And I pulled the trigger. The shot rang out catching everyone in the room off guard. Tucker's face was pure horrid shock as he stared at me. His wife was sobering loudly and through her sobs she was screaming her daughter's name. Everyone in the room was frozen and staring at me, shocked that I pulled the trigger. I meant business and I warned everyone how ugly this could get. They didn't believe me by how frozen everyone in the room was. The only one who wasn't frozen was Seifer, whose reflexes were swift enough to push my hand a few inches to the left causing the bullet to sail harmlessly into the wood next to the girls head. The girl was crying even louder because the deafening shot scared her even more.

"Get off me!" I shoved Seifer away.

"Holy shit!" Tucker screamed, trying hard to free himself from the chair. "You actually shot!"

"Do you think I'm bluffing now?" I put the gun back to the girl's head. "Who were the two men!"

"Tell him, please!" His wife sobbed.

"I don't know!" Tucker was finally starting to lose himself.

"I don't believe you!" I yelled.

"I swear, I don't! I really don't!" Tucker was pleading with me now.

"Tell me everything about them!" I barked so loud spit flew from my mouth. "What they looked like, how tall they were, if they had accents. Everything!"

"They were average looking!" Tucker was starting to cry. Good, he realized I meant business. "Nothing stood out, I swear. They kept sunglasses on the entire time. One had blonde hair, one had brown. The blonde's nose looked broken. I-I don't know, okay, I really don't!"

I pulled the gun back from the child's head and released her. The little girl ran back to her mother who embraced her tightly sobbing. I sat back down in my chair. "I'm now going to ask you questions, you are going to answer, or I will shoot your daughter."

"Okay, okay, I promise I will, just leave them alone." He was relaxing somewhat now that my gun wasn't to his daughter's head.

"What did they say exactly?"

"Okay, okay." Tucker took a couple breaths. "They just appeared in the house and told me. To kidnap the girl for money, just like I said. Then we sat at the kitchen table and didn't speak. Whenever there was a phone call for one of them, they would leave and go off somewhere. I don't know, they didn't let me hear anything."

"What did they say exactly," I hissed. "They didn't say 'kidnap the girl' I want to hear everything."

"They said that a girl who worked at Garden, with black hair and brown eyes, driving a four seated blue car that would be alone from the time she left Garden to the drive to Balamb city. If we could kidnap her in that time, I got the money. The only rule was to not touch anything but her bracelet and her. Tyler managed to pull it off, he brought the girl back here and that was it."

My entire attention perked up. "…what bracelet?"

"What?"

"You mentioned a bracelet!" I screamed. "What bracelet!"

"I-I don't know," He stuttered. "They said, she had a bracelet on her wrist, make sure it was there when you took her." He was searching me for answers. "I remember seeing it, because I remember thinking it wasn't worth much so I don't know why they mentioned it specifically."

"Of course it wasn't." I pressed a frustrated hand against my face. "It wasn't worth more than twenty gil."

"What's going on?" Seifer asked from behind me. "What did you just realize?"

"Later." I growled and moved back to Tucker. "See, one little word and I discovered something. I want to hear everything. When Rinoa came here, what did the two men do?"

"One walked away to make a phone call." Tucker explained quickly. "I'm sure he was alerting his boss they had the girl."

"You didn't hear what he said?"

"No, no, I swear."

"Are you lying?" I raised my gun.

"No! I'm not!" He cried out.

"I heard what he said."

I looked over at the wife. "You heard?"

She nodded nervously, trying to stop her tears. "They kept walking passed my room to make calls. I knew Tucker was making some deal so I always stay in my room. I ignored them because I didn't want to hear something unnecessary, but this time the guy spoke loudly as he walked passed my door. It didn't make sense to me so I didn't care, but now..."

"What was it? What did he say?" I was growing excited, I tried hard to remain calm.

"He said, 'the letter has arrived with the correct postage. We will deliver her to the anthill now'."

"Those are the exact words?" My eyes were wide and my mouth slightly agape in shock.

"Yes, I promise, I remember it clearly." She was nodding eagerly.

"Oh fuck." I cursed and looked at Quistis. The horrified look on her face meant she understood exactly what I did. "Damn it!" I exclaimed slamming my fist on the arm of the chair. "We need to leave now."

"B-but…why?" Quistis questioned towards me.

"I don't know, but not now." I stood up and pointed my gun towards Tucker. "I would shoot you but you deserve worse than that. I'll let the people who gave you the deal take care of you, it will be far worse than what I could ever do."

"Oh no," He started crying. "I knew it man, I fucking knew it."

I looked at his wife. "Get to Esthar, that's your best bet, they operate less there."

"Who did it? Who ordered the kidnapping?" Tucker asked me. "Can you at least tell me who I'm running from?"

"No, enjoy your torment." I wickedly smirked and made my way to their door, my squad at my heels.

We all got outside and quickly moved towards the cars. I lagged behind walking at a slower pace trying to decipher what I just uncovered.

"Damn, when Squall shot I really thought he was going to kill the girl," Irvine told Zell. "Didn't know Seifer and him planned that."

"I know, scared me to death." Zell laughed.

Seifer hung back with me to allow the other's a little distance before grabbing me by the collar. "If you ever try and kill a little girl again, I'll shoot you myself. Do you understand?" He whispered harshly into my ear.

"I knew you'd stop me." I remarked hotly in his face.

"Did you?" He released me and walked ahead.

I was too afraid to answer that question…

"So where are we headed?" Selphie asked. "I didn't really know what was going on in there." She looked at Quistis. "Why…Quistis, are you okay?"

"No I'm not okay!" Quistis exclaimed loudly.

"Quiet!" I hissed. "This is a neighborhood, we need to leave now. Selphie, Irvine, Zell go in one car. Seifer, Quistis, and I will take the other. Head to Alcauld Woods."

"That's east of Garden." Zell looked confused.

"Yes, that's where we're going." I placed my hand on Quistis shoulder. "We'll figure this out, alright? We have a long car ride ahead of us, we'll talk it all out."

"Squall, seriously, tell us what's going on." Irvine pleaded. "Do you know who took Rinoa?"

"Yes." I looked down at the ground, my mind cranking hard to make sense of everything I just learned. I took a breath and looked him in the eye. "SeeD."  
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	2. Find Me Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, part two. Remember this was supposed to be a one-shot and as you notice, it would've been quite long. Even now I'm sure someone will tell me I should've made it a five chapter story. I do want to apologize for the rush feeling, because there certainly is one. I needed to get this done by the end of August, which is a couple days away. There is a lot of stuff I want to fix and I hardly edited it enough so I'm sure there are a lot of dumb mistakes. So fair warning, anyways, enjoy.

"What are you doing?" Xu asked Nida stepping into the computer lab. Her mission brief was tucked under her arm. "You should be getting sleep, we leave tomorrow."

"I'm checking over Selphie's work on trying to trace the number." Nida answered, his eyes still glued to the computer screen.

"There was no call." Xu sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Squall's gone nuts, that's all there is too it."

"Look." Nida stopped typing and turned to Xu. "I've known Squall for a long time, he's kind of my hero honestly. I was in his very first class when we both started here. Kids picked on me, he stood up for me, he let me sit with him at lunch my first day."

"Squall did?" Xu seemed shocked.

Nida nodded seriously. "I know it sounds crazy but it's true, and he did even more for me. I wasn't going to pass the final SeeD exam, but he saved me. My entire squad fled, completely afraid. I tried to finish my part of the mission on my own and almost died. Squall literally saved my life. He put me in his squad for the rest of the mission and his squad was the only one that passed. They gave me a pass as well because I didn't give up on the mission when my team did and because I knew how to fall into place in another squad. I'm only where I am today because of Squall. I follow all his examples, read all his reports, and do everything based off what he does."

"Then why didn't you join his squad?" Xu asked seriously. "You could've gotten a transfer."

"For reasons." Nida replied coldly before pressing on which was not unnoticed by Xu. "But following his example has allowed me to become one of the highest ranking SeeDs…all because of him. So when people tell me he's gone crazy, I don't believe it. He is stronger than what everyone gives him credit for."

"Whatever," Xu rolled her eyes. "He lost the person he loved, I can't blame him at all. We can't understand what he's going through. But he clearly made up the phone call to start a wild goose chase. He can't accept her death and because of that, he's dragging his squad into it."

"Maybe the calls real!" Nida exclaimed. "Everyone's so quick to say it doesn't exist, but maybe it really does exist. I don't want to kill someone if I don't have to, alright? You obviously couldn't care less about shooting another SeeD, but since Squall's my hero and I hope even maybe my friend. I find it hard to believe he's gone rogue for no good reason."

"Fine, whatever," Xu threw up her arms and headed away. "If I'm working with you, I don't want you hesitating when we find them. They will fight back and try to kill us. We have to react first."

Nida didn't answer her and went back to working on the computer, trying desperately to find any trace of the phone call. He couldn't believe Squall was making it up…

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, so can someone please explain to me what's going on?" Zell spoke through the blue-tooth in our car. "How can SeeD be behind this? Are we sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." I growled.

"Quistis?" Irvine asked through the speaker. I could see them in the side mirror driving behind us in the second car, all with a very serious expression on their face.

"Squall's right, SeeD is behind this." Quistis was driving our car, I was in the passenger seat, and Seifer was in the back.

"How? Or even better, why?" Irvine asked.

"I can't answer either of those." Quistis glanced at me. "Sir, would you like to explain it?"

I leaned my head against the window. We were still in smaller neighborhoods; eventually we'd get to the main road to drive our east. This late at night meant the road was empty excluding the one random car here and there. It was starting to snow outside, very light and delicate. Rinoa loved the snow, she always tried to get me to build a snowman with her…I never did. Why was I so cold to her? Why did I have to act so mature and professional, couldn't I build one damn snowman! I pushed the thought aside and I closed my eyes to think of a better memory of her. I could feel the hum of the car vibrate throughout. It reminded me of the time Rinoa and I drove out on a mini weekend excursion into the forests of Balamb. She demanded she would drive since I needed a break. I never actually slept, but I laid my head against the window pretending to sleep because I knew how important it was to her that I rested. Feeling the movement of the car through my resting head brought back those bittersweet memories that I hated.

"Sir?" Quistis said again.

"Listen up," I spoke quietly but clearly with my head still resting against the glass. "This is an open discussion, I want to hear ideas but let me get you up to speed. SeeD captured Rinoa, that's a positive. How I know that is because of the code phrase the one agent said that the wife overheard. It was exact, so I know she wasn't making it up. It's a message that is clearly associated with SeeD, only Quistis and I recognize it since we choose what code words we use for a mission. We've never used the postman reference because it's the most basic of the codes. In fear that someone will know about it, we've always avoided it, but that doesn't mean other SeeD squads don't. That's how Quistis and I recognized it immediately."

"That's all true," Quistis confirmed. "The reference is pretty basic. 'The letter has arrived with the correct postage'. It's a trick incase anyone's listening and could decipher it. It makes it sound like it's a kidnapping for the person, who is deemed as the Letter. One would think that the letter with correct postage meant simply, 'we have the right person', but it doesn't. The second section is the important part, the 'postage' is represented by the true mission. It's an item that the person has. So it's really saying. 'We have captured the person, and they have the desired item which we seek'. This is where I get confused, because I don't know why they would use that with Rinoa."

"Her bracelet." Seifer said. "There was a mention of a bracelet."

"Selphie?" I spoke slowly.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Do you remember Rinoa's bracelet?" I didn't feel like talking, there was a growing pit in my stomach as I realized what was truly going on. It was only a matter of time until the rest of the squad realized it.

"I don't remember anything special about it." she admitted.

"Flash drive," I muttered to help remind her. She definitely knew, it was just slipping her mind.

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed. "Rinoa's bracelet held a flash drive in it. She liked to keep all her work close at hand so she bought a bracelet that could literally hold a flash drive. That's what they wanted – not her – her flash drive."

"What was on it?" Zell asked.

"No idea." Selphie confessed. "It must be important."

"She must've uncovered something," Seifer added. "She may have realized it or not, but she must've stumbled onto something huge. So big, it lit up the red lights in SeeD so they kidnapped her. That's why it was short notice. She was working late, stumbled upon whatever it was, and then went to meet Squall. The order was given to kidnap her before she met Squall. It explains everything. Why it's been covered up so well. If SeeD knows anything, it's how to cover something up."

Yes, that was all right, I put that together back at Tucker's house. The problem is where this all leads. That's what was giving me the sinking feeling in the bottom of my stomach. The pain was echoing in my head, knowing exactly where the conversation was about to turn.

"Wait," Selphie said and there was a pause after as she thought. "This doesn't add up."

"You're right." Irvine agreed.

There was then a silence in both cars as they realized the same thing I realized back at Tucker's. This line of thought was all instant for me and I wished it wasn't. One thought always leads to another, and it's a very slippery slope. Thoughts can't be stopped, even if the conclusion is the worst possible fear…once that line of thought is uncovered, they will continue on an ever downward spiral of despair until they dive headfirst into the depressing pit of hopelessness.

"Well someone has to say it," Seifer sighed. "It might as well be me." I could feel his eyes burning into my back but my head was still leaning against the window. I wish I could drift away so I wouldn't have to hear what was next. "If they only needed the flash drive in her bracelet…they wouldn't keep her alive."

There it was. The cold hard truth of the matter. No matter what way to formulate or explain the circumstances all ended with the same use of logic. The kidnapping wasn't ever about Rinoa. SeeD wanted the world to think Rinoa was kidnapped, when truthfully, they just wanted the flash drive. There would be no reason to keep her alive once they got the information from the flash drive. But…she was alive. She called me and the man I tackled out the window said she was alive. I could feel her still alive and I just knew that she was alive somewhere. I don't think she was kept alive for any good reasons. Maybe she was supposed to have been killed but a SeeD kept her alive, locked up somewhere, to play with her as he pleased. There are many sick people in the world, and plenty of them work for SeeD. To try and figure out the reasons she's still alive were impossible, and none of them were reassuring.

"But she called Squall." Zell's voice was unsure.

"She did." I spoke for the first time in a while. "I know it looks bad, but she called me. I heard her voice and the man back at Tyler's house confirmed it."

"How would he know?" Seifer questioned me with some of the most brutally honest logic.

I whipped my head around to face him with extreme heat in my eyes. I pressed the button on the dashboard of the car to mute the blue-tooth speaker. "Don't you dare second guess me like that?" I hissed.

"Face it Squall, that man outside would have no idea if she was alive or not." Seifer didn't back down. "He was a low thug, you either imagined he said it, or he was just saying whatever to make you happy. He was dying, he wanted help."

"Don't ever…do that again." I threatened ignoring all his perfectly sound explanations because I couldn't argue them at all. I pressed the button to unmute the speaker. "The fact of the matter is, she's alive. Trust me, I know she is. If you want some logical reason for her being kept alive, think of all the terrible things some guy could do to her. Or, maybe the SeeD couldn't kill her and allowed her to flee the country. Or, maybe she wasn't killed since she didn't know what was on the flash drive. That would mean she couldn't speak, so they would simply lock her in some unknown prison somewhere. Yes, none of those sound very plausible but they are possible. At this point in time we simply don't know enough to really judge. And I'm not sure if you remember, but SeeD is now after us. We can't turn back, so I'd like to follow this to the end because I know Rinoa will be standing at the end waiting for us. Are you guys still with me?" I asked with low hopes since I didn't believe a word I just said so I don't see how my squad would.

"Yes, Sir." They all chimed back so quickly and all together it made me calmer. There wasn't as much doubt as I thought…maybe it was just me with the doubts.

"Good, you're welcome to talk freely." Whenever we traveled in two cars, we kept the blue-tooth always connected so we could all partake in a conversation. "Seifer, switch with me, I want some sleep. Keep Quistis awake."

"I got sleep, Sir." Quistis remarked.

I didn't answer her as I climbed into the back and Seifer climbed into the front.

"So what did the ant hill mean?" Zell asked.

Quistis answered him. "It's a location reference to where we're headed. You probably know it Zell. A mine collapsed underneath the forest floor decades ago and caused small gorges and crevices to form. The land is all broken up and SeeD has given it the code Anthill because it resembles an anthill. No, it's not a mound." Quistis swiftly said because we all knew Zell was about to ask it. "There are many underlying paths that aren't all visible. Apparently explorers have walked for miles in the fallen mine. Some parts break through the surface to make the crevices but it's all very complex mazes underneath. The good news, SeeD only refers to a specific few acres with the codename Anthill so that narrows it down. We're finally closing in on Rinoa."

"Better yet," I interjected. "I know of a good safe house that hasn't been used in a while, they probably took her there. Nida and I stayed there once when we were caught in a blizzard."

"That's where you guys held up?" Irvine asked from the other car. "I was wondering how you got lucky enough to find some cabin out in those woods."

"It's a safe house for SeeD, with a hidden trapdoor that leads to a basement filled with enough 'tools' to give anyone nightmares."

"You think Rinoa's there?" Irvine asked.

"We'll find out." I took off my jacket and laid down in the backseat. I put my jacket on top of me like a blanket. "Don't let me sleep to long." I added fully knowing I probably wouldn't get more of an hour of sleep and I didn't. It's hard to ever fully sleep in a car but the haunting images of Rinoa certainly didn't help. Sure enough, they plagued my mind almost instantly.

This time we were in the basement of the SeeD safe house we were heading to. A deathly cold chill overtook me as I wrapped my arms around myself seeking comfort I was not allowed. She had chains around her wrists and ankles, tying her to the floor. Her wrists were bleeding heavily, causing thick crimson to run down her arms and pool onto the floor. Her ankles were also cut up from the chains, adding to the darkened liquid building on the floor. Her knees slid through the blood spreading it around. It was hard to tell how badly her body was bruised and cut because of all the blood she was lying in. Her ribs were showing clearly against his skinny frame and her arms looked like twigs. She was extremely malnourished. She looked so frail and weak, as if a hard wind could shatter her. Her body shivered uncontrollably and she couldn't even wrap her arms around herself, since the chains were too short. Her head was shaved, not leaving a single strand of hair behind. Her lips were cracked showing signs of dehydration. She looked up at me with sunken eyes pleading for hope.

"Did you forget about me, Squall?" Strange black tears streamed down her face. Her eyes lost all playfulness they usually held and were replaced with a deep darkened despair.

"No, no!" I exclaimed as I tried to move to her but my feet were stuck. "I would never!"

"Why didn't you look for me?" She tried to move but the chains kept her in place. They rattled as she struggled to crawl for me like an injured animal. "I waited, but you never came."

"Rinoa, I'm coming now, I promise." I held out my hand to reach her but she was too far away.

"You think I'm dead!" She wailed in such a desperate plea for help. She wasn't the Rinoa I knew, not the strong-willed, independent girl who never backed down. But this was my fear, that SeeD broke her down, turned her into something so frail and weak. It was sad to witness. "You've moved on." She whimpered as she turned her head away from me. "If you moved on…I just want to die."

"No!" I cried out. "Don't think that."

"They were supposed to kill me, but they didn't." She snapped her head back towards me and shook her chains. "This is what they did instead! This is my torment, because of you!"

"Rinoa, I'm coming-"

"You did this to me Squall!" She screamed. "You put me here!"

"No, it wasn't me. It was SeeD" I argued, because I feared this was my fault. That she was targeted because of me somehow.

"I learned something I shouldn't have." She stopped screaming but was sobbing to herself with black tears running freely down her face. She tried to draw her knees to her chest but the chains stopped her. Her body shook with each sob as her raw head rubbed against the bloodied ground. "Find me Squall."

"I am, I swear I am." I pleaded with her, wishing more than anything could hold her and keep he safe.

"Find me."

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nida yawned as his eyes scanned through the morning paper. Xu was driving and they were headed towards the city. They had two cars following behind theirs, both with four SeeD agents, making a total of eight. They had to leave their usual squads behind on the current mission they bailed on. It was rare to do so, normally their squads would've come with the team leader, but this was an emergency, Cid made that clear enough.

"You should've gotten more sleep," Xu glanced at Nida yawning again. "Did you find any trace of a phone call?"

"None." He answered as he flipped another page.

"Told you, Squall's mental. I know you don't like hearing it, but we have to face facts."

"I know the facts," Nida drawled out slowly. "Squall got a call from Rinoa, we aren't sure if it's true. If it is, great, Rinoa's alive, but Squall's still rouge. If it isn't true, that's terrible, but Squall's still rogue. It doesn't change the missions, I'm aware of that." Nida looked at Xu, "Come on, you can't tell me you don't wish Rinoa to be alive a little bit."

"Of course I do," Xu shot back. "There's nothing I'd love more, and if she is, once we detain Double J-E. I'll be happy to help save Rinoa. The only reason SeeD didn't authorize such a mission is because of how frivolous it sounds."

"Please don't call Squall searching for the one he loves frivolous, that's insulting to everyone."

"That's what it is," Xu pressed. "Squall is either completely making the phone call up to use it as an excuse to run around the like a mad man-"

"There's no way." Nida disagreed.

"I agree," Xu readjusted her grip on the wheel. "Which is why, Squall honestly thinks it actually happened. It's heartwarming to see him frantically search for Rinoa, but…it's also sad."

"Let's just focus on catching him first, we can both agree he is by no means going to be asking people nicely." Nida turned the paper over, still searching.

"Not with their squad name." Xu clicked her tongue. "Double J-E, otherwise known as, Jury, Judge, and Executioner. It's a brutal name."

Nida knew Xu was just trying to make conversation, they had different opinions on what was going on, and he appreciated her attempt at keeping good relations. He'd go along with the talk, to keep things civil. "Yeah, that was before Irvine, Zell, and Selphie joined the squad, but that's what happens when they are absolutely merciless in the field."

"It seems strange the entire squad name is for only three members, kind of leaves the rest out."

"The real squad is Squall, Seifer, and Quistis. Irvine is always backup, to keep a good field of vision and make a shot if need be. Zell is technically just a foodsoldier, but he's so skilled he was put into the squad. And Selphie is the tech' expert of the group, she is just the gears in the machine, so to speak. Zell, Irvine, and Selphie may be the best of the best, but they could still be replaced. You can't replace Squall, Seifer, and Quistis, they're the real backbone of the group."

"With how different Squall, Seifer, and Qusitis are, I figured they'd never get along." Xu commented.

"That's just it." Nida tried hard to get onto their squad, it was no surprise that he knew all of this. He studied their tactics and operations to make the transition smooth, but he never did get on their squad, he gritted his teeth for a moment reliving that disappointment before pressing onwards. "They're so different they make the perfect team. Squall leads, stays calm, and makes accurate decisions given the situation. The Judge. Quistis follows after Squall, the second opinion, and helps strengthen his orders, so it doesn't seem like Squall is making them up out of nowhere. People like a second person to agree, that's her job after Squall feeds her all the information. The Jury. Then there's Seifer. The classic tough guy brute who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. The Executioner."

"Apparently they have no mission failures." Xu added.

"It's true, with that combination, that's now known worldwide. People are terrified to see them, because they know their basically screwed."

"I looked over the files, and I couldn't find Squall's specialty, which is strange. Every SeeD has their specialty listed. I know he's the leader, and I know their unofficial roles, as you just stated. But they all have specialties, Zell martial arts, Irvine sniping, Selphie with technology. Even Seifer comes highly recommended in close-quarters grappling as well as a crack shot. Quistis has multiple recommendations as well, but not Squall. There's nothing." Xu's glanced at Nida. "Do you know it?"

"Psyche ops," Nida replied.

"I saw that he was requested for those missions." Xu nodded. "Well actually, his team did any mission. But there was no specific specialty listed."

"That's because his team has all specialists, they could do any mission, but Squall's specialty is Psyche ops. He doesn't even carry a handgun, he can shoot of course, but he never carries one with him." Nida looked over at Xu. "He doesn't have a listed specialty because what he does isn't legal even in warfare. He knows people, he plans ahead and his team – which is full of specialists – takes care of the mission. But he excels, and I mean, really, really, excels at making people talk."

"He's an interrogator?" Xu eyebrows furrowed. "I thought it was a little more sophisticated than that."

"It is, don't mistake him for some brute," Nida explained. "He knows what points to push in a person to get the best reaction. Yes, he uses force as well, but only when he knows the person's biggest fear is pain itself. I've also witnessed him break a man by simply talking to him. It's not listed because no one lists their specialty as, 'interrogator'. When we need information from someone on the go, they send in Double J-E, like it's a court room or something. They break in, and Squall has his way with the person, then they leave with the info." Nida sighed. "Do you see why I find it hard to believe his mental state has cracked? He is incredibly intelligent, he has to be to have had his position, so I can't see him mistaking reality with some false connotation."

"Is he that good at it?" Xu asked. "I never really spoken with Squall personally, normally I was with Quistis or someone else in the squad."

"Squall kept to himself, we all know that," Nida answered. "I worked with him a few times, he was always on another level. He was always ahead of the game, ten steps ahead than everyone else. On the last mission we did together, we had to get intel' from this guy. It was supposed to be simple, he was selling us the information. He demanded two qualified SeeDs. Squall was selected and I happened to be the closest SeeD near Dollet with the sufficient ranking so I tagged along. It was Squall's mission, I was just riding along. I met Squall at a restaurant, sitting outside on the patio. Squall was completely calm like always, he told me just to follow his lead. I was fine with that, I wasn't going to try and take his op'. An hour later the target sat down at our table. We discussed things as you'd expect, and ate peacefully. It got to dessert and we were ready to get into serious business. Squall was the only one who ordered dessert, he curiously got crème-brulee and gave a very rare grin. Figured he was just playing some part for the target. Slowly but surely we got this vibe that the man was playing us. He wasn't going to sell us any intelligence, but was actually trying to get intel' out of us. I made a light threat that he shouldn't try and trick us. This pissed him off immensely. I wasn't aware, but he was waiting for us to accuse him so he could make an excuse that we broke the deal. He motioned his hand and two big guys stood up behind him. These guys were huge, at least seven foot, two hundred- fifty pounds each and in shape. They looked like twins, with shaved heads and sunglasses standing right next to each other."

"I'm guessing Squall got you out of that mess?" Xu inquired, fully knowing the answer.

Nida nodded. "He didn't say anything or made a move. He waited for his crème-brulee to arrive. Once the waiter brought it near the table, he finally spoke. He said, 'it was dumb to have them stand next to each other. It's only going to take one bullet'. With a small flick of the finger, a second later both bodyguards collapsed to the ground, with a hole in their heads. Irvine was apparently set up in a building somewhere watching us the entire time. It took him one bullet to take down both guys. Of course, as soon as they fell, everyone in the restaurant freaked out. This is when Squall made his move. He jolted to his feet, grabbed the man by his hair, and threw him face down on the table. He reached over and grabbed the mini blow torch for the crème-brulee. Without hesitation he used it on the back of the man's hand, instantly giving him a small but serious burn. It was to let the man know what it would feel like. The man begged for his life, to which Squall responded, 'I'm going to kill you with this little fire, it'll take hours, if you decide to talk during that time, I may change my mind'. Then a car pulled up with Zell driving. Squall dragged the man to the car and I quickly followed. We hopped in and that was it. The man was ratting out everyone he possibly could on the car ride alone."

"That is impressive," Xu had to admit.

"Squall gets people to talk by making threats that haunt the person deeply. So you see, he's so smart and controlled…why would he be lying now?

"That's true…but all men have their breaking point."

Nida had to agree with that but his eyes caught an interesting section in the paper. He stopped looking during the story, but as soon as his eyes flashed back down he saw what he was looking for. "Found it."

"Found what?"

"What Squall did in the city." Nida answered. "There are four people found dead, one guy was thrown from a window. A witness says a man actually tackled him out of the window and landed on him. That sounds like a man desperate to find someone. Other witnesses claim they saw four men enter the building, two of them had scars between their eyes. They obviously had some lead to go on, we need to get to the crime scene and examine it."

"Sounds like a start."

Nida's phone rang, he was surprised to see Cid calling him. "Hello, Sir. We got a great lead, should be able to pick up their trail soon."

"I got one better," Cid said heatedly into the phone. He was obviously agitated. "The rouge agent targeted a man in his home named Tucker Davis. He told Squall something that we believe is making Squall head towards the Alcauld Woods, specially the Anthill. We think based off your current position, you may be able to catch up to them soon. We have granted pardons with the local officers to allow the use of sirens. Turn them on and get going."

"How did you confirm this?" Nida asked with his eyes narrowed in confusion.

"It's confirmed, that's all that matters. I am the Headmaster, I do not go based off anything less than solid intel', do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." Nida quickly rifled off the habitual saying. "May I interview this Tucker Davis?"

"He's in SeeD custody, everything we find out I will let you know immediately. You need to hurry and catch up, this is a break we cannot afford to let slide by."

Nida didn't want to think what 'SeeD custody' was like. "As you say, Sir."

Cid sighed and lowered his tone. "Nida, I know this is tough on you, but if you do this. I can see a promotion in your near future."

Nida wanted to spit hearing that, he couldn't care less about a promotion. Squall was a person he looked up to. This had nothing to do with rising in the ranks. But he couldn't say that to Cid, so he replied with the noncommittal. "I see, Sir."

"Very well, get to it." Cid hung up.

He didn't even get to tell Xu their new orders before his phone rang again. "Hello?"

"This is General Caraway, am I speaking with Nida?"

"Yes, Sir?" The General never called anyone…this was strange.

"I wanted to confirm the orders that Cid has given you."

Nida inwardly sighed…he hated his orders. "Yes, we understand, kill on sight, Squall Leonhart and the rest of Double J-E are two dangerous to try and apprehend."

"Very well." Caraway hung up leaving Nida very confused. This was all too troublesome.

"Turn the car around," Nida informed Xu. "Cid has a lead, Squall's heading towards the Alcauld Woods." Nida flipped the siren on and motioned out the window to the two cars trailing behind.

"Good, we can end this whole charade." Xu gripped the steering wheel tightly.

Nida had to agree with Xu there, he wanted to get to the end of all this.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Squall wake up." I opened my eyes to see Rinoa leaning over me. Her hair falling onto my face, her childlike teasing smile toying with me. "Baby, you've been sleeping all morning."

"Just a little more," I told her, wrapping my arms around her. "Join me."

"We have things to do," She giggled falling into my embrace. Her warmth radiated into my arms as I could feel her weight, I mean, really feel it. Her hair tickled my chin, and I loved it but it something I never admitted.

"Like what?" I chuckled.

"You know." She drew lazy circles on my chest and played with the chains hanging from my neck. "Like-"

"Squall!" I shot up in the backseat of the car. It was Seifer who shouted my name. The car was still moving and it was day out, but the sky was clouded and gray. It was still snowing, but slightly harder now. Seifer was looking back at me. "More dreams?"

"Yes, dreams," I stressed. I pressed my thumb and index finger into my eyes. "Got a fucking headache. You got any pills?"

"No."

Well that was a quick response. When I opened my eyes I saw Seifer holding out a protein bar in my face.

"I'm not hungry," I told him.

"Okay, don't care." He snorted. "I want you to taste the damn thing. Zell says it tastes like barbeque, I think it tastes like teriyaki. Quistis says its barbeque, Irvine says its teriyaki, and Selphie's too dumb to know the difference. So you're the deciding factor, take a bite."

He threw the thing at me. I wasn't going to out of spite, but eventually I caved. I unwrapped the bar and took a bite. "…barbeque, easily. You're an idiot Seifer."

"Shut up," He waved me off. "You don't know what you're talking about.

I took another bite, "No wonder why your cooking sucks. You can't tell the difference between anything."

"I told Quistis everything." Seifer suddenly said. The change of topics almost gave me whiplash.

"I don't know what everything is…" I drawled out.

"The hallucinations." Seifer answered, still facing forward.

I composed my anger because I wanted – very badly – to throw him out of this car. "I don't have hallucinations."

"Stop lying." Seifer shot back.

"Quistis you don't believe him, do you?"

"I do, Sir." Quistis nodded, the sound of her voice sounded worried. I don't blame her, she was my second in command. She wasn't supposed to be siding with Seifer. He only got away with saying stuff like this to me because that's just who he was. I've learned to deal with it.

"Well you can fuck off too then." I snapped, crossing my arms in the backseat like a child.

"Sir, we are just worried about you." Quistis' eyes flashed in the rearview mirror to connect with mine. "What if we get to this safe-house and-"

"Don't finish that sentence." I threatened.

"You need to embrace all possibilities." Seifer told me harshly. "We are all hoping she's there, but if she isn't."

"She's there, I know she is."

"What? Did she tell you?" Seifer's comment was monotone but it had a lot of hidden heat beneath.

"Say that again!" I exclaimed lurching forward and grabbing Seifer by his collar.

"I said, 'did she tell you'?"

"You're on thin ice Seifer." I hissed in his ear.

"Or what, you're report me to SeeD. We're all rouge now."

"Are you blaming me!"

"I'm blaming-"

"Sit back, Sir!" Quistis screamed cutting Seifer off. "You will not fight someone under your command that is not how you do things, and Seifer, lay off him, he is your superior officer, respect his authority. Sir, sit back in your seat, put your seatbelt on. This is a moving vehicle, it's extremely dangerous, and I've been driving all night and this yelling in my ear isn't helping. We are almost at our destination; we can go the remainder of the trip without screaming our heads off at each other then I'll be very thankful!"

Seifer and I were both frozen staring at the blonde.

"…you could ask nicely Quistis." Seifer mumbled with his eyes downcast.

"Yeah, we aren't little kids," I grumbled sitting back in my seat.

"Seatbelt." Quistis' narrowed eyes glared at me in the mirror.

"I don't-"

"Seatbelt!"

"Fine, but because I want to." I told her rather boyishly as I quickly buckled myself in afraid she'd yell more.

The car was filled with awkward silence until Quistis spoke again. "I apologize for the yelling. Sir, you can reprimand me later, but that will have to wait. We're here."

We pulled onto a dirt road and drove for another twenty minutes, so 'we're here' was a very loose statement. We drove until the path thinned and came to a stop. We all got out of our cars. It got colder out, as if to reflect my current mood. The trees were bare and the snow overnight laid an immaculate white blanket on the ground. The sun was blocked out by the snow clouds, making the world gray and desolate. Zell was blowing into his hands and rubbing them together and Irvine was stomping his feet.

"Okay, we all know after a long drive we're all tired and cold. Everyone do twenty jumping-jacks and twenty push-ups, just to get the blood flowing."

"Are you serious?"

"What is this gym class?"

"You're a loser."

It sounded like three people said those comments but it was actually just Seifer saying all three…one after another. "Shut up Seifer, and do them." We all went about doing them, except me, because I was the leader and didn't need to. "Now that we're awake, I have some bad news. I don't remember exactly where the cabin is, but it's definitely in this area. We're going to spread out and search in pairs of two. Quietly of course, and don't engage if you find anyone."

"Umm, Sir?" Selphie raised her hand. She didn't have to, but she always felt the need to raise one before a question.

"Yes, Selphie?"

"Do you…really think Rinoa's here?" It was an honest question, I could tell by the worry in her eyes.

I nodded with strong confidence. "I do, completely. This safe house is rarely used, it would be a perfect place to keep her as a political prisoner. Remember, Caraway is on the council, even I don't think he could kill his own daughter. I bet, Caraway understood keeping her quiet, so he has her stashed away out here." I made eye contact with each squad member. "We'll find her, and we'll bring her home." I made it sound strong and reassuring but in my mind my own hope was fading. I kept rationalizing reasons, but basic logic said once SeeD had the flash-drive...she'd be killed. But I couldn't afford to think like that, I had to stay positive.

"Let's do this." Zell shouted throwing a couple punches into the air.

"Okay, Zell and Irvine together, head east. Seifer and Selphie, head south. Quistis and myself will head north. Meet back here in thirty minutes, I know that doesn't give much time but I don't want us spreading too thin too early. We'll move out slowly." I saw frowns appear on their faces. "I know, I know. I want to find her badly too but we have to be smart." And people doubt my mind, I'm thinking plenty clearly. All I want to do is run madly into this forest shouting Rinoa's name, but that's idiotic. "After we reconnect the first time, we'll spread out again, this time further. Remember, don't engage anyone you see. Since, Rinoa's here, they'll be guards, and they'll be from SeeD. Don't underestimate them."

"Yes, Sir." They sang back in unison before heading out.

Quistis and I watched them go. After they were gone I turned to my second-in-command. "Do you think I'm crazy now? Because of what Seifer said?"

"No, Sir." She quickly shook her head. "I don't at all."

"He does." I admitted looking in the direction he walked off in.

"He doesn't." Quistis told me reassuringly as she placed a small hand on my arm. The small gesture meant a lot since we rarely touched each other. Quistis was the best soldier I've ever known and she followed me since I first took a leader position. We kept things very professional, so this talk already was pushing the boundaries of what we were use to. "I know he doesn't. But…we are worried what all this stress is doing to you."

I ignored that and said something completely inappropriate breaking that professional streak we had for years. "I know you've always had a crush on me." It was so random that I did question my sanity after asking it.

Quistis face flushed red as she looked down at the ground and pulled her hand off my arm. "I-I don't know what you mean, Sir."

"Were you ever…happy that Rinoa was gone, so you-" that was as far as I got before she slapped me hard across the face and it was well deserved.

She was fuming, barely controlling her anger. "How dare you. How. Dare. You. To think, I'd be so shallow…to think…" She stepped away for a few seconds before marching right back. "You think I'd be…h-" It was hard for her to say the word. "…happy that Rinoa, my best friend, was gone, over something as stupid as a crush. Sir, you are way out of line to think such things!" She paused and gathered herself. "Permission to speak frankly?"

"…I think you've already gone there."

"You're an idiot. There's no other word for you. We all care and worry about you, but you've been pushing us away. We try to help you but you refuse it. Have I ever once pressed you or spoken out of place?"

I shook my head.

"I can't stand by any longer and be silent." Some tears were starting to fall from her eyes and they affected me deeply because I've never seen Quistis cry. "We all miss her, Sir. I know you think we don't, but Rinoa was our family, and we want her back more than anything. And honestly, I'm jealous that you still believe she's alive, because…because…I don't! Okay, I really don't." Her tears were starting to fall harder now as she was putting everything out there. "She's been gone for months, and now we know SeeD took her because she knew something. Basic protocol is to kill the person to silence them. If that's true, then…how…how is she alive?"

"She called me." I reminded her.

Quistis chuckled morbidly. "I know Squall, I wish…God, you don't know how much I wish it to be true, but it's so hard to believe. After what Seifer told me, that you see her, how can we be sure?"

"You have to trust me." I reaffirmed.

"I know Sir, I know, and a good soldier would trust you no matter what but this…I don't know if I can." She shook her head apologetically and lowered her gaze shamefully to the ground. "I'm sorry."

That hurt deep inside, I know Seifer questioned me but he questioned every move. Quistis was always my support, even in the worst times, my terrible decisions; she'd always have my back. This is the first time she didn't and it made me feel empty. The ground I was standing on was crumbling beneath my feet without Quistis bracing the ground with me. I stared at her dumbly, wishing she would take it back, but she wouldn't look up at me.

"You're tired." It was my only safety to fall back on. It was pathetically weak, but it was all I had. "You wait at the cars, I'm going to look."

"By yourself?" She exclaimed snapping her head up.

"That's an order." I told her, in a daze at what just happened.

I marched away, unsure about my resolve anymore. I walked and walked, uncaring about the noise I made. I should've been sneaking, moving cautiously, but I wasn't. I stepped in a determined pace through the forest of winter-dead trees. I zipped my jacket all the way up to my neck and hunched my shoulders over. I could see my breath and huddled my arms around myself to stay warm. I never remember being this cold, but for some reason, the cold was really affecting me. But that wasn't the problem I was truly worried about. In this isolation is when I see her. When I'm cold, lonely, and scared. When my mind loses its grip on what's real and starts to toy with my emotion. Feeding off what I want to see, making it what I think I see. It's a terrible play and I try and fight it, knowing it's not real. But it feels real, so real that I start to question everything. And if it's not real…but it's better than reality, is it so bad to live in the fantasy? Normally, I might indulge myself, but it was getting worse, so I was trying to fight it. In reality…I had no control.

"Please don't," I whispered to myself, knowing what would come next. "Please…" I had to keep my mind clear and true. I couldn't be led away from my goals. Then, I felt her hand slip into mine and my heart sank. I couldn't see her right now, it would drive me insane.

"Squall." She called my name with such a sweet voice. I loved the way she said my name. It brought back so many wonderful memories that only caused me more pain now. "Squall. Open your eyes."

I looked to my left to see her smiling brightly at me. She looked normal and completely alright. These were much better than the other versions of her I saw, the painful bloody ones. "Hey." I called softly to her.

"What's wrong?" The way she reacted, the slight pout and downward shift of her eyebrows, it was just like her. It was her.

"I'm…I'm afraid."

She pulled her hand away from mine. "You don't think I'm alive?"

"No, I do, I do." I reassured her, but she knew it was wavering.

"You think I'm dead." She was starting to cry. "You aren't looking for me."

"No, I am." I quickly grabbed her hand. "I'll find you, I swear it, I'm so close."

"I'm alive Squall." She told me strongly. "Find me."

"I am." I moved my hand to fit into her's better. "Walk with me, it's a lovely day." I smiled. I gestured to the trees, they were filled with leaves blowing in the wind. The sun was shining and its warm glow washed over us. The leaves on the branches swayed in the wind, causing the shadows on the emerald grass to dance in patterns. All the cold was gone, just from her stepping into my life. The life in the forest was back, the birds were heard and squirrels could be seen running around. It was the better days, the one's I longed for. Why should I fight this, why live in a depressing dark world when this was waiting for me?

Rinoa smiled brightly at me and walked happily by my side. My sanity was far gone at this point, I knew it, but while she was here with me, it felt so real. The warming aura that surrounded her was memorizing. It caused me to constantly smile, something that felt so foreign to me for so long. We walked, without speaking until we came to one of the very crevices Quistis was talking about in the car. It was extremely dangerous, it came out of nowhere. There was a thick layer of trees all around it, so it was hidden among their trunks, but it went down deep, too far to see the bottom. I grabbed a branch to help steady myself as I leaned over it looking down.

"Maybe you're down there," I told her. "Maybe you escaped and fell down one of these holes."

She looked at me with a bemused smile on her face. She shrugged teasingly, like this was some kind of joke. Suddenly her smile completely disappeared as her head snapped to look behind me. "Squall, look out!" She screamed before vanishing and the lush forest instantly snapped back to the cold wasteland.

I turned around just in time to see someone running at me. He tried to push me into the crevice but I braced myself and pushed back. The soft snow gave little grip and my feet slid closer to the edge but I got my balance and pushed back. I got a solid grip on his arm and threw him into a nearby tree. He never let go of me either and spun around, throwing me into the same tree. He gave me a strong jab in my gut but all my training in the gym hardened my abs. I was able to soak the punch easily and returned it with one of my own. I grabbed him by his collar so he couldn't get away as I repeatedly smashed my fist into his face. Eventually he grabbed my fist with one hand and with his other free hand, he slammed me in the jaw. I didn't have time to recover before I felt his elbow connect with my nose. I stumbled away but he got right after me. He grabbed me and pushed me face first into a tree. I felt the bark cut my face and my eyes tear up from my nose being hit dead on. He pulled my head back by my hair and slammed me into the tree again. I took the blow painfully before I swung my elbow behind him and felt it connect with his face. I summoned up all my strength and grabbed him. I lifted him off his feet – thankful for all the weightlifting at the gym since this is why I trained so hard – and threw him towards the hole in the ground. He didn't fall into it but stopped short. He stood up but I was already on him. I ran, full speed at him and jumped, placing both my feet outwards and turning sideways. He took the hard kick right into his chest and flew backwards, falling deep into the pit, screaming the whole way.

I gasped on the ground out of breath. I looked around, it was snowing again, and the trees were bare. I was depressed to be back in this world but I couldn't help a chuckle escape my lips. "If they're here, she must be here." I got back onto my feet and started heading back towards the camp, still out of breath. "I need to do more cardio apparently." I thought I would be in better shape after all those long hours of training, but nothing is like the real thing.

I headed back to the cars, being more careful this time incase more SeeDs were around. I was upset I threw him over the edge, since I wanted to ask him questions. But his presence was good enough for now. It meant we were definitely on the right track. SeeD would do whatever they could to keep their dirty secrets covered up.

I approached the cars carefully and I was proud to see Quistis pull a gun on me first and then see who was there.

"Oh my God." Quistis uttered as she lowered her gun. "What happened to you?" She hastily ran up to me and placed a gentle hand on my face. "Squall?"

I gave her a smile which shocked her more. "SeeD. There here, she's here. I know it."

"H-how – are you sure?" She inquired, looking into my eyes.

"The hell happened to you?" Zell appeared silently, I don't think I've ever heard him approach me. Irvine – a little louder – followed after him.

"It was SeeD." I told them.

"That means she's here, right?" Zell looked at me energetically and I gave him a serious nod. He threw a fist in the air. "Alright! Let's go get her!"

"Did you find the cabin?" I asked.

"Sure did." Irvine flicked his hat up cockily.

"Could you guys be any louder?" Seifer grunted as he stepped into the opening with Selphie behind him.

"Aren't you back a little soon?" I questioned.

"The forest was clearing up our way, figured it wouldn't make sense to have a hideout in a big grassy area." He finally noticed my scratched up face. "What happened to you?"

"SeeD." I answered seriously. "Got in a little fight, nothing I couldn't handle. Its proof Rinoa's here."

"That's great!" Selphie cheered.

"Was Quistis with you?" Seifer asked me.

"No." I answered.

"And we know where the cabin is," Zell kept speaking around Seifer and I. "So let's go get her."

Seifer chuckled rather morbidly for this particular situation. We just found out Rinoa had to be here, why wasn't he happy? He wasn't being sarcastic or trying to be an asshole…he was honestly upset by something. He looked around at the group as we all watched him. "Seriously?" He kept looking around. "Seriously?"

"What?" I growled.

"You got in a fight." He pointed at me. "Where's the body?"

I clicked my tongue. "He fell down one of the crevices."

Seifer nodded, "Of course, why wouldn't he? Why leave proof?"

"Do you not see my face?" I hissed. "Does this not look like I was in a fight?"

"It looks like you slammed your head against a tree." He remarked quickly.

"Are you fucking serious?" I can't believe he was arguing with me in front of my team, but it was too late now. He opened the discussion.

"I don't see any cuts from a fist, or bruises that look like a fist. Your nose looks like it's in a lot of pain, but that is easy to do when you bang your head against a tree. I see injuries that would be easy to get from a tree."

"This is absurd." I snapped. "You think I would make this up?"

"No, I don't." He shook his head honestly. "But…I think your mind could be lying to you."

"You sound like Cid!" I exclaimed.

"Did he try and shoot you?"

"…no." I answered thinking back before coming up with a reason why he wouldn't. "He tried to push me into the crevice, so there wouldn't be evidence."

"He could've shot you, and dumped your body." Seifer shrugged. "He never shot, because for you to have a fist fight, he couldn't have a weapon. You're leaving out logical facts that would make this more realistic, it's like a dream. It all feels real but then when you think back to what was actually going on in the dream, it doesn't make sense at all."

"Stop fighting me on this." I demanded harshly on the outside, but on the inside I was becoming desperate. His reasons were too sound, too logical, too true.

"Why didn't any of us see SeeD agents? Zell found the cabin, yet he didn't see any. Only you saw one, when you were all alone, and, the body is gone…that doesn't sound like one big coincidence?"

"I'm not lying." I hissed through my teeth, my blood pumping, and my anger rising.

"I'm just saying-"

"Stop." Quistis cut in, breaking Seifer off. "There isn't a point in arguing here. Forget all the intangible unknowns. Squall fought someone, maybe he didn't? Doesn't matter. What we do know, is that Rinoa was brought to this cabin out here, and there is a cabin out here. Now, we can go check the actual facts we know, at the cabin, and see where it takes us. I say we do that."

"Agreed." I stated, not wanting to look like I was losing my leader position. Happy that Quistis was still doing her job and backing me up even though I went completely out-of-line earlier.

"Agreed." Seifer said, his eyes not leaving mine.

So we began walking, following behind Zell. I told the team to look out for SeeD members. I wasn't sure if they were honestly on their guard, or just playing the part to make me feel better. I didn't want to ask, because I was afraid of the answer. I walked in the middle, with my mind drifting back to the fight I just had. I went through every part in my head…I couldn't have been making it up. There's no way. It had to be real. It felt real, every part of it. I understand hallucinations, lack of sleep, stress, pills, that isn't so strange, they're like strong day dreams. But could I really have lost my mind to the point where I think I'm fighting people? Did I really throw my own body into trees to hurt myself? How can a person know if they're crazy? I did just imagine this entire forest as if it was spring…but I knew that wasn't true, I'm self aware…aren't I? Is it possible to come to terms with something that I don't want to be true, no matter what, even if the world tells me that I'm wrong? If something I believe in, something I know deep down in my heart that it's real, but everyone tells me it isn't…do I believe myself…or them?

"There it is." Zell announced quietly.

The cabin was what someone would expect from a small cabin in the woods. It was small, only one room above, but a bigger room below underground. It nestled into the trees comfortably as they surrounded it willingly. There was an open space leading up to the door with a large stump left to chop wood on. The snow fell softly now as it was before, blanketing the cabin roof in white. All around the cabin was left untouched as if no one had been there in months….which was not a good sign.

"Let's go." I told them, before they questioned the same thing I was.

We crept out of the trees, still in formation. We didn't get far before I felt something. It's indescribable, but it's a gut feeling that's developed over the years. It never failed me, but now…everything might be failing me. Still, I couldn't take chances.

"Everyone hide." I told them.

"What for?" Seifer lazily replied.

I quickly cracked him across his jaw, he stumbled back a little but didn't fall. I shook my wrist which hurt from the punch. "I am in command, do as I tell you, now! Everyone get in the trees forming a half circle around the entrance to the cabin."

"In them?" Irvine questioned.

See, this was the problem. Before, I could've told them to do handstands and they would've done it without hesitation. Now, they think I'm losing my mind, all because Seifer questioned me. This is why no one can question my authority.

"Yes, in the fucking trees. I said, trees, or do I need to do sign language because obviously your ears are filled with shit. Now move, and wait for my signal." I was happy to see them all hastily climb up the trees. Irvine helped Selphie with a boost since she was short, everyone else managed just fine. "Now stay hidden." I told them. "Wait for me to say 'reminiscing'."

"What?" I heard Selphie question.

"Do as I say." I barked. I was losing control and I was desperate to keep it.

I moved towards the cabin, which seemed more empty each step. Things were looking grim but I wasn't worried about that currently. I put my back to the cabin and sat down on the stump. I crossed one leg professionally over the other, then I folded my hands on my knee, and waited. Five minutes went by, then ten, then fifteen. I didn't make a single move, the gentle cold wind digging into my skin, but I've been cold for months, this wouldn't affect me. I knew my team's patience was growing thin. I could almost hear their muttered curses at me, their inward doubts. I would if I was in their position. Who wouldn't? There apparently crazy leader just told them to wait in trees until otherwise stated. Then, he put his back to the cabin they were about to breach…maybe I have lost it.

Something caught my attention and the smallest smirk graced my lips. Maybe I haven't lost it after all.

"Nida." I called out confidently.

There was silence for a moment before…

"Squall." Nida stepped out, dressed in SeeD attire with a winter coat over it. He had his hands stuffed into his pockets. "Cold out here."

"It is."

He smiled. "Waiting for me I see."

I shrugged calmly. "I knew you'd be after us. Where's Xu, she should be here too?"

I didn't miss the small surprised twitch in Nida's face before he collected himself. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised by that either. I told her to head south."

That confused me. "You knew that was the wrong direction."

Nida smirked. "Maybe I just forgot where the cabin was, based off your foot prints, you did too."

"You didn't forget," I know he didn't. "Why send Xu away? She's your backup."

"I wanted to talk to you one-on-one."

"Is that supposed to make me think you don't have guys hiding behind those trees." I chuckled. "I can see them."

Nida grimaced. "I figured you'd guess they were there, didn't think you'd see them. Come out." Nida commanded them.

Four guys quickly emerged from the trees, all with semi-auto rifles aimed at me.

"We have target in sight, kill order acknowledge?" One said.

"No." Nida answered. "Wait."

"Kill order has been advised, Sir, we should take it." Another said.

"I said no." Nida spoke harshly.

"The target is in our sights, easy kill, can we take the shot?" A third spoke.

"No!" Nida exclaimed. "Wait, that's an order."

"He's dangerous."

"Silence!" Nida cried out. "I am the commanding officer, do not disobey my order." Nida knows the importance of respect, and he knows how to get it. "He doesn't even carry a gun, his team is dangerous, and I don't see them."

"They're hiding in the trees." I told him.

Nida cracked a smile. "I'm sure they are but sorry, I can't imagine Seifer in a tree."

A small smile spread on my face, I always liked Nida. "So, are you going to shoot me?"

"No, I'm going to take you in."

"You know Rinoa is right in there," I jerked my head back, pointing at the cabin behind me. "I know she is."

"I hope she is," Nida sounded sincere. "I really do hope Rinoa is in that cabin, perfectly fine, and perfectly safe. If she is, you know I will gladly go in and rescue her. But, you still went rouge, and we don't forgive that Squall, sorry. As much as I hate it, you have to be brought to trial."

"As much as you hate it, huh?" That was interesting.

"You know I've always liked you Squall." Nida breath was visible, and the steady clouds showed his composure. "Deep down, I always wanted to be on your squad, everyone knows I wanted to be on your squad. It was almost expected that I would be on your squad when I transferred. Everyone was shocked when I wasn't allowed on your squad but you know that don't you. You refused the transfer request, so I guess you didn't feel the same." I could see a mixture of anger and sadness in his eyes talking about that transfer. I knew it meant a lot to him.

"Didn't know we were reminiscing." I told him evenly.

Instantly, my team jumped out from the trees. Irvine got to one man first, he kicked the back of his knee, forcing the man to fall onto his knees. The cowboy then placed his handgun at the back of the man's head. Selphie got behind her man and smashed the butt of her shotgun against his head. He fell forward onto the ground, Selphie put her foot on his back, and aimed the gun at his head. Seifer 's foot got caught in the tree and hung upside down as he tried hard to get leverage to right himself. Luckily, Zell was as graceful as ever. After landing on the ground, he took two steps before jumping into a roundhouse kick which connected perfectly into the third SeeD's head knocking him out and sending him flying in the direction of the fourth SeeD. Zell charged the fourth SeeD, stepping on the back of the third SeeD. The fourth SeeD was the only SeeD that had time to raise his gun and aim. Zell quick stepped left then right to make aiming more difficult before getting in range. Zell grabbed the gun with his left hand. The SeeD jabbed out his elbow in a professionally trained – but highly predictable – strike at Zell. The blonde blocked it with his right forearm, then reached over to the gun and switched the safety to 'off' so the gun couldn't shoot. The man tried another elbow but this time the blonde grabbed the man's arm, stopping the blow. Zell kicked at the man's leg, forcing his one knee to bend. He then swung his elbow around, connecting with the SeeD's face, before lowering his stance to wrap his arms around the man's waist. He pushed forward, tackling the man to the ground. Zell raised his fist and slammed it down like a hammer on the man's face, hard enough to make him dazed. Then Zell flipped the man onto his back while bringing the SeeD's arm around as well, putting him out of commission.

Quistis slid out of the tree after the commotion was over and walked over to Seifer. She allowed Seifer to use her shoulders as leverage to get enough elevation to lift his food out from the two branches. He fell to the ground before quickly jumping to his feet.

"You're an idiot." Quistis mumbled under her breath before walking towards Nida. "Gun, Nida, don't be dumb."

"I don't have one," He answered. "Thought I'd be like Squall."

"It's in the front of his pants." I told her. "His coat buttoned up is strange and that's the most common place people don't frisk."

Quistis unbuttoned his coat and reached in front. She withdrew a handgun and then walked over towards me.

"I said it wasn't possible to hunt Squall, but no one listens." Nida sighed.

"This isn't your usual team," I commented, "They're a lot worse."

Nida shrugged, "This was an emergency, had to leave my team on mission."

I narrowed my eyes. "That's not protocol; the missions should've been scrapped."

"Well, what can I say, Cid told me to leave alone, and he'd pick my team."

"Cid chose this team?" I questioned.

"That's what I said."

I looked at Irvine and quickly made a slashing mark across my neck. He nodded and buried a bullet into the SeeD in front of him. He then shot three more times, all landing a bullet into the SeeDs' heads.

"What the fuck!" Nida exclaimed spinning around. "They're SeeDs Squall! You can't just do that! We could've gotten you off these charges, now you'll get the rope."

"What charges?" I looked at him seriously. "I'm not charged with anything, except leaving SeeD. That should mean dishonorable discharge and maybe worse based off my actions. However, Cid wants me dead. That should've been obvious by how many times your squad asked to take the kill shot."

"Cid doesn't want you dead." Nida argued.

"He does indeed," I nodded standing up. "I bet he told you to take a kill shot right away didn't he." By Nida's reaction I knew I was right. "Can't blame him, not after we stumbled onto his conspiracy."

"Now there's a conspiracy. Are you insane?" Nida drawled out.

"Apparently, I might be." I chuckled. "But not with this. I don't have time to explain everything, but Rinoa was taken by SeeD because of a flash-drive. She saw something she wasn't supposed to, saved the data, and thus SeeD had to kidnap her."

"Is that true?" He looked at Quistis, since apparently I had no reliability anymore.

"It is," Quistis nodded.

"They would just kill her." Nida was quick to answer. I didn't respond right away and he realized instantly why. "I'm sorry…I know how that sounds."

"Tie him up," I told Selphie, who always carried plastic zip-ties. She took his hands behind his back and slipped the plastic around him before tightening it.

"Squall," He looked at me with pleading eyes. "You can't expect her to really be in there."

"That's where you're wrong, because I do. They didn't have to kill her, and the best way to remain undetected in a place like this is too visit it rarely. The basement is sturdy, you can lock a person down there with food and water and they could survive for weeks. Only check up on them now-and-again. SeeD has done it before to people, why not now, especially when her father is on the council. But then again, the more I think about it, the more I don't think Caraway had anything to do with this. This has Cid all over it, that sneaky rat bastard lives for backstabbing."

"Squall…listen to yourself, you're rationalizing." Nida looked at Seifer. "You of all must have questioned him about this."

"I have, but I'll still follow him."

"Nida," I placed my hand on his shoulder. "I've always liked you. I didn't deny the transfer because I didn't like you, I did it because you were too good. You've always been a leader, not a follower. I had Quistis as my second already, you could've battled for her position but you're overqualified. I denied the request and in place, recommended you for your own squad. You did amazing, and now your squad is ranked in the top ten."

He was shocked by this and was having trouble to find his words. He probably thought I hated him or didn't respect his skill. It was the opposite, he was better than to follow someone else, and I wanted more skilled leaders in the field to work with.

"Okay," I told everyone. "It's time to prove that Rinoa is in there." I turned and headed towards the cabin but was forced to turn around by Seifer. "What this time?"

"Squall, brother." Seifer stepped in close, but it didn't matter, in the still air everyone would be able to hear what he was about to say. "You can't expect Rinoa to be in there a hundred percent…leave some room for doubt…incase…you know."

"Are you saying she's dead now?" I narrowed my eyes.

"No," He shook his head, "But she may have been moved, just understand, this might not be the end of the line."

I hesitated as I was choosing my words. "Seifer…" A sad depressed smile appeared on my face as I could feel a tear forming in my eye. "The truth of it is…if she isn't here…then she isn't anywhere." It hurt saying it, more than I thought it would. "I know I said earlier she may be moved…but…really…they wouldn't move her again, this would be fine…so…she has to be here." I was now really fighting back tears, trying my hardest to remain strong in front of everyone. "If she isn't here…then…that's it."

Seifer released his grip on my shoulder. Everyone else was staring at me with saddened eyes, even Nida.

"So…let's go in." I forced a bad smile that no one bought.

The door wasn't even locked, so we stepped in easily. The main floor was empty aside from the table and chairs and random mirror on the wall. There were shelves with some tableware on them as well as a fireplace that wasn't cleaned. It still had ash and used wood from the last person. It was meant to be bare so no one would want to live in it without SeeD knowledge. I pushed the table roughly aside to get access to the trap-door beneath. I didn't even wait. Waiting would only make it worse. I threw it open and jumped down.

"Squall!" I heard her voice, saw her smile. She was beyond happy to see me, beyond overjoyed to know she was safe. I never gave up and I finally found her, I was reunited with her once again. She gave me the tightest hug before placing a hard kiss on my lips. She started crying and calling out my name loudly as I was trying to get a grip on what was happening, since it was all so fast.

"Squall? Is she down there?"

And the room was empty…because it was just in my head. She wasn't here, it was as bare as the upstairs. There hadn't been a person in the room for months. The bed was bare, no sheets, the dust covered everything. I stepped over to the bed and sat down. She slept here…I could feel it, I know she did. But she wasn't here now. I felt like I was going to vomit in the room so I quickly climbed the ladder back up.

I came face-to-face with my squad, all looking like death itself overcame them. Selphie was starting to cry and I wasn't too surprised to see Zell wipe his sleeve across his nose. Seifer walked over to the fire and dug around in the ash. His SeeD instinct was taking over. He was searching for clues.

"Hey," He called out softly and pulled out a metal bracelet that was charred and blackened from the fire. But it was easy to see what it was. Seifer fiddled with it until he pulled out a half melted flash-drive device from the bracelet. He held it up so we could see…he didn't need to say anything. How many flash-drive bracelets would be found in a SeeD safe house?

It was hard to breath and I felt a lump in my throat. There was a mixture between vomiting and sobbing, I wasn't sure what. Tears were coming to my eyes as my hands started to shake. I looked at all the faces staring at me, Nida looking just as sad as the rest of us. I smiled meekly at them and gave a helpless shrug. "Well guys…she's not here."

"Oh Squall." Selphie started sobbing loudly. Irvine wrapped an arm around her but the way his hat was tipped down meant he was crying as well. Quistis tried hard to remain professional but tears still strolled down her face. She didn't wipe them away, but let them run true until her chin were they cascaded off. Zell turned away and leaned his head against a wall. Nida crouched down and hung his head. Rinoa was part of our family, this was a blow to everyone, not just me.

"I'm sorry guys," I gave out a desperate chuckle that choked out in a sad whimper instead. "She's gone…I led you on a chase…I'm so sorry."

"Never apologize…not to your squad…you told me that." Quistis' voice was breaking.

This was the worst, the hope one can build so high, to come crashing down. It's heartbreaking, it's torture, and the worst is we do it to ourselves. Two days ago, everyone coped with Rinoa being gone accept for me, now they all had to deal with it again. I was a horrible Commander.

"She's gone." Tears were starting to fall from my eyes. "She's fucking gone."

Seifer wrapped his arms around me tightly. "It's okay brother, I got you."

I grabbed onto Seifer tightly, finding my entire resolve crumbling. I wanted to find some balance anywhere. "The phone call." I cried out. "I swear it was real…it had to be."

"It's okay." Seifer comforted.

"She…she had to be here…she had to be." I was losing myself, completing losing all my will. I felt weak…so pathetically weak. "I trained to hard for this…endless hours in the gym, preparing, she was supposed to be here."

Seifer stepped back and looked at me. "What training?" I think he was the only one not crying, but he's always been the tough one.

"I trained all the time," I explained confused why he was asking now. "It doesn't matter now, does it? It was all for waste…she was…she was…The phone call, it was real, the guy I tackled out a window…he told me…he said, she was alive…the SeeD in the forest, he wasn't with Nida or Xu…so that means…Rinoa…she should be here." But all that happened when I was alone, no proof, no evidence, no witnesses. It could all have been in my head and now I have no way of denying that. I wished it wasn't so but now I was at a dead-end and could only confront my worst fears.

"Squall." Seifer stepped back. "This is tough, and this hurts, but you have to embrace it, you have to understand."

Why? Why was he saying this now, didn't he see I understood well enough.

He pushed me over to the mirror on the wall. "Squall…I want you to look at the mirror…and really look."

I was at such a loss at what was going on and what I was feeling, I just went along with it. I looked at the mirror and saw my usual face but tear-stained. I thought about the tears, what they meant, how Rinoa was gone, how she must be gone. Once they had the flash-drive, they killed her, it was protocol, no matter how many theories or rationalizing I could come up with…basic logic stated she was dead…but the phone call…could it really have been my imagination? Then, in the mirror, my face suddenly changed. It was still my face, but vastly different as well. It was paler, a sickly pale with almost no color. Dark rings were around my eyes with heavy bags underneath them. My hair was thin and losing color as well. My face was skinner overall as the bones stuck out in more defined lines. I stepped back and saw my body. It wasn't trained or honed…I had almost no muscle. I was all skin and bones, I was hunched over with pointed shoulders. I looked like a walking zombie. All those nightmares of how sick Rinoa looked…was actually me. The time Quistis held me back at the meeting…she did it so easily, now I know why. My clothes hung loose against me as I thought back to when the clothes in the safe house were too large. They weren't, I was simply too small. Why I was so cold outside, I was just skin and bones, with a frail body.

"I don't understand." I whispered as I stared unblinking at the mirror. "I trained…everyday."

"You went to the training center and just sat there," Seifer told me over my shoulder. "Everyday…you just sat there, staring off into space. You didn't lift weights or run or anything. There's video of it, we just…never wanted to ask you about it." That was impossible…that was insane! I couldn't believe that…but the proof was right in front of me. Seifer continued, "We tried to get you to eat whenever we could, you looked so thin." My mind flashed back to moments ago in the car, when Seifer threw the protein bar at me, claiming I just had to taste it to settle a debate. It was a trick, to get me to eat, like I was some sick puppy. This was disgusting.

"But…if I made that up…if I imagined those things." I turned towards Seifer. "…what else?"

Seifer nodded at me. "Squall, think…think hard about everything. Did any of it actually happen?"

I tried to think back to all the evidence that Rinoa was alive but…I was always alone when it happened. There was no proof but my word and my word meant nothing. That was too hard to comprehend, how could anyone answer a question like that. Is what you think real? That's a philosophical bullshit high school question, impossible to answer. But in my case…there was a very real chance I was making up a lot of it. With everything hitting me at once, I was finding it hard to keep my composure, as more and more of it was lost. The phone call felt so real, her voice was just…her. It was her! The SeeD I just fought…I thought back and tried to picture myself throwing myself into a tree. It just wasn't right…he was there, I know he was. This was too crazy…this was my world collapsing.

"Is this real?" I found myself asking Seifer, my entire body starting to shake. "Is this, right now, real?"

"Yes."

"How can I be sure?" I choked as more tears starting coming. The truth was…I couldn't be sure about anything anymore. "This might be a dream, or a hallucinations, this could be…I don't know!" I shouted.

Seifer grabbed my tightly. "It's real brother, it's real. Rinoa is gone, okay. Accept it, don't relapse, understand she's gone, this is real, and you need to move on. You can't keep living in a fake universe you create."

"She's gone…." I said the words, it was heartbreaking and utterly miserable to say, but I needed to say it. She couldn't be anywhere else…the trail would end here. It was protocol, destroy the evidence, and then tie up loose ends. Rinoa's body was down in the cracks of the earth, to never be found again, or if found, just a traveler that slipped. SeeD…those bastards, how sick the company is I use to work for. "She's really gone." I said it again, to let it sink in, to understand, that I needed to accept this now or I could make up an entirely new wild chase across the world. My body stopped shaking as I felt utter despair. The world felt dark and I felt all alone. Everything worthwhile in the world was just drained. I felt like dying, honestly, this was too painful to live. This pure loneliness feeling was a cruel torture that I just wanted it to end. An absolute emptiness overtook me as I felt all my resolve gone. My reason to wake up in the morning, to train, to eat…to live…it was gone. The hope that Rinoa was alive was the only thing that kept me going and now…she was gone.

"This place is a mess." We all snapped our heads towards the door to see Caraway standing there. "Leonhart, I see you're crying like a girl, that's good to see."

"W-what are you doing here?" Quistis questioned.

"Nida," Caraway nodded at the SeeD. "I see you got your squad killed, you're a pretty terrible leader."

"I-I don't even know what's going on." Nida commented honestly.

"What are you doing here?" I gaped at him.

He looked at me, "Oh, right, I should've opened with this. Rinoa is alive."

"….what?" I whispered breathlessly. Was this real? This wasn't making sense, this had to be fake.

"She's alive, she's safe, I know where." He stepped into the cabin further while still looking around. "Hmm." He muttered as if this place was beneath him and it disgusted him.

"Look at me!" I screamed. I marched over and grabbed his coat. "What do you mean, 'she's alive'!"

"Just that." He shook my hands off him. "Rinoa is alive."

I turned around towards Seifer. "Real? Is this real?" I pleaded desperately.

"Oh it's real, but I don't believe it." Seifer's eyes were wide and staring at Caraway.

"Explain, Sir." Quistis tried to sound professional but it came out like begging.

Caraway pulled a chair out from the table, dusted it off, and then sat down. "It came to my attention that you stumbled upon the little conspiracy SeeD had going on."

"There is a conspiracy?" Nida gawked.

"Yes there is," Caraway folded one knee over the other. "SeeD has been selling weapons illegally to third parties, who ever pays enough for them. SeeD has certain ways of getting around government expectations and restrictions. They don't have to count our weapon stock and therefore, we can sell as many as we want to whoever we want. It's quite lucrative, and it pays for a lot. The world just thinks SeeD makes all the money from contracts but it's mostly from black-market deals."

"And Rinoa discovered this?" Quistis inquired. I was glad she was asking the questions because I couldn't find my words yet.

"Someone sent an email to the wrong address. SeeD quickly erased all traces of it, but in that short time this email existed in the wrong place, Rinoa copied it onto her drive without noticing. It was instantly traced to the computer that was currently being logged on by Rinoa Heartily. SeeD quickly went into action to right the wrong. Cid was contacted and he instantly came up with the kidnapping and execution plan. Cid doesn't mess around and will not hesitate to get his hands bloody."

"How is she alive then?" Selphie asked the question this time.

"Because SeeD made another mistake that night." Caraway chuckled, "This was actually pure luck, if this didn't happen Rinoa definitely would be no longer alive. Cid told his secretary to call the council members to inform them of this but he said, 'everyone except Caraway'. What she heard, was 'everyone, especially Caraway'. The secretary knew that there was a leak, nothing about who was involved or the solution being put in place. She told me, there was a leak about our illegal activities and that Cid told her to inform me. I quickly got my personnel to look into it and discovered it was Rinoa who was the problem. I was confused at first, but I quickly called one of the other councilmember's to hear he was preoccupied in an undisclosed location. Basically meaning, he was at a meeting I wasn't invited to. It was obvious from that point they were planning on taking out Rinoa. Cid always kept this small time criminal out of jail just for a case like this. He sent SeeDs to contact this, Tucker Davis, and I think you know what happened from there. Where it changes is this very building. Rinoa was dragged here, with the intention of being tortured to see what she'd know. Then, she would be killed. I waited here until the two SeeDs arrived. I gave them orders that they were to report to Cid that they did their job, that everything was taken care of, and to hand the girl to me. They were hesitant, but I told them some lie that Cid just wanted it on paper that she was dead, and this was all off the record. They knew who I was and that I wouldn't likely lie, so they gave her to me."

"Where is she?" I pressed. "Where is she!"

"Fishermon's Horizon." He replied calmly.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" I screamed at me.

"Why did you think I wanted you to go on a vacation so badly!" He shouted back. "I even said Fisherman's Horizon taking a huge risk, because you're so thick skulled. All you had to do was discover where she was on your own, then you could've handled it from there. I couldn't tell you she was alive because what if someone overheard? I had to play the part of a grieving father of a daughter who was kidnapped by random thugs in a city. For three months I've been working with a man that tried to assassinate my daughter, and I have to pretend I like him. You think you had to rough? I wanted to strangle that man every single day. As he jokes and laughs with me, all I think about is how this man tried to kill my daughter and pretends to be my friend."

Then something suddenly dawned on me. "She called me. She called me!" I exclaimed. "I wasn't making it up, she really called me!"

"No, she didn't." Caraway growled.

"Does Rinoa know what's going on?" Quistis inquired.

"Somewhat." He answered. "She doesn't know it has to do with SeeD, she thought it was just kidnappers. I told her I would pay a ransom and make them stop chasing her. I told her, these kidnappers were trying to get to you Squall. So she's been staying away from your group to protect you, she knows how dangerous it is to contact you. Thus, why she would never – and I repeat – never call you."

"She did, I know she did." I wasn't backing down. "When I asked her to tell me where she was, she didn't say, 'I don't know'. She said, 'I can't'. I thought it meant the same thing, but it wasn't. She knew revealing her position would be bad, that's why she said, 'I can't'. When she had to hang up, I thought the kidnappers returned, but she was in hiding, she couldn't be overheard on the phone crying. It would raise questions. It all makes sense. Everyone told me I was crazy, and I'll admit, I'm not the healthiest person right now, but that phone call was different. She even mentioned the ransom, how is that a coincidence? It was real, she called me, she wanted me to find her, and I searched."

"It wasn't real!" Caraway exclaimed. "Just because you thought she said 'I can't' doesn't mean anything. And you expected a ransom because kidnappers were involved, so you dreamed up a ransom, just like she expected a ransom. Who doesn't expect a ransom with kidnapping?"

"Did you talk to her?" I pressed. "Did you ask her if she called me? There's no way this is all coincidence."

"I can't make contact with her." He replied in a low tone. "But it is all coincidence."

"So then you don't know," I laughed almost like a maniac. "She could've called me, she really could've."

"Well congratulations." Caraway clapped sarcastically standing up. "You reopened a trail that Cid thought was buried. Now, he may hunt after my daughter again. You put her in more danger than ever before."

"I'll protect her." I defended.

"Don't bother," Caraway huffed and withdrew something from his pocket. "You will never be the man I am Leonhart, you will never love Rinoa the way I do, and you could never protect her the way I can." He held up his hand to reveal a flash-drive. "This has all the data on it you need to take down the SeeD empire, and I mean all of it. That is a fake flash-drive burned in the fire." He tossed the real one to Nida who couldn't catch it since his hands were bound. It bounced on the floor and hit his foot. "Nida has to bring it to the attention of the world, he's a recognized and honorable SeeD, they'll believe him. I would normally let Leonhart take care of this, but since he went rogue and may be mentally insane currently, he can't. Leonhart, your team will forever be on the run, but with SeeD dismantled, no one will care about you, and you won't have anyone really chasing you. In fact, if Nida is wise, he'll mention how the recently rogue SeeDs discovered this conspiracy and fled for their lives, or something. That will take even more pressure off you."

"Are you on this?" Quistis asked him seriously referring to the flash drive.

"Of course. But I'd die for my little girl." He answered without hesitation, even though it meant life-imprisonment. It grew silent as well all stared at him. He dusted off his pants and headed towards the door. "That – my students – is called taking the stage and controlling the world. Leonhart, it's very romantic how you charge after Rinoa, but next time, use your brain or let the real men handle things. You gave a great show, like puppets. Very flashy and entertaining, but no matter how impressive puppets are…they can't move without the puppeteer pulling their strings i.e. me. Now, I suggest you all get moving." He disappeared out the door and that was it.

"I've never hated a man and loved him so much at the same time." Selphie commented.

"She's alive." I whispered, my head was pounding as my legs gave out. "She's alive…this is real? She's alive. But everyone said…she was gone…but I was right. Or is this a hallucination. Oh God, please be real…please, if this is fake, some lie…I'll die. I can't take it, no more, I'm going crazy." My heart was pounding as my chest hurt but my head was banging relentlessly. "God, is this real!" I cried out. "Is Rinoa alive! Please, someone tell me. Please…"

Then I passed out and only saw blackness.

Twenty Days Later.

I stepped towards the house. It was a small thing, couldn't have more than three rooms in it. But it sat right on the edge of the island, and overlooked the shimmering water. The shop keeper said this was the house and based off the directions written on the small scrap of paper this was the right place. I found my feet frozen as I begged them to move but they wouldn't respond. It took three months to get to this point, then an agonizing twenty day boat ride to get to Fisherman's Horizon. We couldn't come straight here, we needed to sail around on a passenger barge in case someone was watching the ship. But I was here now…I was really here. And this was real, my team was with me but were setting up their new housing and sent me on my way. I felt bare, and weak. With my mind opened to all my problems, the world felt more real. It was harder to deal with and I kept losing faith at what was reality and just in my mind. But it was getting better and better. I haven't had a pure obvious hallucination since the cabin, so that's a good sign. As hope was completely restored and I knew it was true, I wasn't letting my mind drift into the lies of the past.

"Move damn it." I cursed through my teeth as I forced my legs to move. After a moment they listened but I couldn't feel them, I couldn't feel anything. I was trying hard to not get my hopes up, the fear that they could come crashing down was too much. The breaking of my will back at the cabin in the woods was the worst feeling in my life, to feel that again…I don't think I could make it.

I walked down a few steps to get to the other side of the house, where the entrance was. The door was like a garage door, large and metal that could scroll upwards. It was currently rolled up to give the great view of the sea. There were a few flower pots scattered about with random flowers embedded into them. I almost tripped over them since my eyes were glued to the house. I stood in the entrance way and looked inside. It was small, the living room and kitchen were connected. There was a door that probably led to a bedroom which would have a bathroom connected to it. There was one couch and it faced towards the door, a great position to watch where the sun would set at night.

I knocked against the wall adjacent to the door, my mind blank and unreadable. The word. "Hello" somehow managed to weed itself out of my mouth.

"Just a second!" Called back. My breath stopped…it was her voice, I could recognize it anywhere. Another second and she stepped out from the other room. Just like that...she was there, standing completely normally. Her eyes narrowed slightly before becoming immensely wide. Her hands covered her mouth as she was already beginning to choke up on her tears. "Oh my God…Squall!" She shouted and ran towards me.

I didn't react, I was too shocked, too frozen at everything. She held onto me tightly. "Squall! I'm so happy, oh God, I-I'm so happy."

"Is this real?" I whispered.

She leaned back to look at me. "What?"

My hands moved to her face. Her skin was warm and smooth. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail. Her teary eyes were searching mine to understand what was wrong with me, because I certainly couldn't explain. She looked perfectly healthy, all those nightmares were for nothing. There was nothing wrong with her, she was as beautiful as ever. "Squall…what happened to you?" She noticed my face, the rings on my eyes, the sickly white skin, the boney frame, and every other wrong thing about me. "Are you okay? Squall…please…say something."

"Is this real?" I asked her again.

She nodded smiling but it looked bittersweet with the tears running down her face. "I've been waiting, you were supposed to find me months ago. Did you even look meanie?"

Oh God. That set me off. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, so hard I felt I might crush her but she only held me back. "Rinoa." I cried into her hair. "I'm here…I have you."

"I know," She whined into my ear.

"I searched for so long."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you're here, I have you now, everything will be okay." I pulled her away from me just enough to place my lips on hers. She welcomed them lovingly and it felt so good. It felt so real. My melancholic coldness was washing away as it was overcome by the warmth that Rinoa always provided.

She stopped kissing me and grabbed my hand leading me into the house. She rushed over to the couch and sat us both down. I was still getting over my shock and Rinoa seemed to understand this since she let me sit there in my daze. I looked around the room, partly because I wanted to know where Rinoa was living in hiding and partly because I couldn't believe this was real. I was retracing my steps all the way back to getting off the boat. They all made sense, all my previous actions, it wasn't like before. It wasn't a brief moment of relapse or confounding false hood. This situation made sense…it simply made sense.

I could feel Rinoa's hands running across my body. She was feeling the prodding bones and the lack of muscle. Her small hand ran through my hair and a few strands remained on her hand as she pulled it away. Her hand cupped my shallow cheek as her worried eyes connected with mine. "What happened Squall?"

I gave her the only real and honest answer I had. "I lost you."

That choked her up a little more but she fought back the tears, I know she always hated crying. For some reason, she really hated me seeing her cry, I wasn't sure why, but it was true even now. She buried her head into my chest to hide her tears and wrapped her arms tightly around me. I returned the embrace willingly and pressed my head against hers.

I heard a noise to notice the TV was on and I was surprised to see Nida on the screen. Words ran underneath stating SeeD Conspiracy. The screen flashed to show the council members being led away. They either looked upset, angry, sad, worried, or depressed. But not Caraway, that asshole was walking tall with what could be mistaken for a small smirk on his otherwise stern face. I hated that man more than anything in the world, but I had to admit, he loved his daughter as much as I loved her. I risked my life to find her, and he's throwing his way as well. I respect him deeply for that.

Rinoa pulled away. "You have to tell me what happened?"

"Everything?"

"Everything." She affirmed.

I smiled gently, rare but true. "I will, I'm just glad you're okay.

"I want to say the same to you but honestly you look terrible." She joked.

"I'll get better." And I knew I would, now that I had her.

She started crying again, her emotions just overwhelming her. She lunged back into my chest, probably to hide her tears. "I'm so glad you're here Squall, I was wondering when you'd find me."

Find me. The words echoed in my mind, the driving force behind everything. Those were the two words that pushed me to the edge of sanity to discover the dirty secrets of SeeD and become reconnected with Rinoa. The two words that allowed everything to happen, without them, none of this may have been possible. They still twisted my mind and plagued me with warping reality. How many nightmares did I have with the final words being find me? How many times did Rinoa whisper those words into my ear, pressing me onward? How many times did those words empower my legs to move when my will was shattered? It was two simple words that I owed everything to.

But I had to know, I had to ask, otherwise it would drive me insane for the rest of my life.

"Rinoa?"

"Yeah?" She looked up at me, smiling brightly even though the tears were still there. I rubbed her back, feeling her entire essence near me. I've waited so long to hold her again and it was everything I missed and needed. "What is it, Squall?"

"…did you call me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure about ending the story that way but the more I thought about it the more I liked it. Tell me if you think the call was real or not, I'd be interested in knowing. I'm sure some of you are bummed Rinoa was barely in it, but I couldn't drag out the ending forever. Maybe if I had more time I could've written it better but with time ticking down, I had to finish this story. I hope you enjoyed this, I had a lot of fun writing it. This is for the Where I Belong Challenge.


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